Laura Jayne Martin

14. “I like girls like Indigo/I like you and you should know.”

This week, my guest is Jessica Mack, a gender rights advocate based in Thailand. She has done a lot of fascinating work all over the world, which we will not discuss.

1. My high school wins all the sports games. Except for the ones that it loses to learn valuable life lessons, so it can also beat you at sportsmanship.

Orange is the New Black is the new black.

Stop thinking about kale. See, now that’s exactly what you don’t want to do.  Once you tell yourself to stop thinking about something it is impossible NOT to think about it. Kale. Kale. Kale. OMG!! Stop!

24. A certain unit of geographical subdivision of a certain West Coast state that contains several married women with an incredibly loose definition of the word “reality.”

Probably the first time I truly failed my parents was when I bought pre-sliced watermelon from Whole Foods. Who the hell did I think I was? It still haunts me.

We’ve now arrived at my chief complaint: the noise you create. What could you possibly be doing that requires you to be this loud outside my East Village apartment?

The running time of a movie is ninety minutes for a reason. It isn’t real.

I guess it’s sexist to think only men can be sexist, just like it’s stupid to think only women can be stupid. Everyone is stupid, especially when it comes to love.

POMEGRANATE: You are an avid consumer of Grecian yogurt. You practice Santeria.

“As women, how much PinkBerry have you eaten today and how much obsessing over the calorie count have you done?”