Laura Jayne Martin

Infographic: Periodic Thanksgiving Table Of Elements

Xg — I’m the Grandpa who keeps making xenophobic remarks about people from countries that no longer exist.

The Pies I Will Be Eating On Thanksgiving: A Pie Chart

You can barely see the slice of the pie chart which represents the Cranberry Pandowdy. You know why? A pandowdy is not a pie. It is a cross between a pie and a cobbler. I will eat a bite of it because I am polite, and then I will slap you in the face for bringing a pandowdy.

Let Me Know If You’re Going

“If you see something, say something” is a pretty tough directive to follow in New York City. I see something everywhere. I see something when it’s nothing.

TV Quiz: Are These Quotes From Dexter Or Sex and the City?

They share so many similarities it’s hard to tell sometimes. Or maybe they don’t. Maybe one is about an insane person with terrible values who is unable to sustain meaningful relationships and the other is about a serial killer?

40 Things I’d Rather Share An Office With Than My Co-Worker

Someone who deliberately Gchats to people whenever their red lights are on as a joke

A Flowchart For Determining If A Moment Is Actually Awkward

It’s probably just a pause in the conversation. Pauses are vestigial structures left over from a time before THE INTERNET, energy drinks, and viral marketing campaigns.

The Complete Idiot’s Guide To Carving A Pumpkin

Halloween has reared its ugly, decapitated, horse-riding head again. That means it’s time for pumpkin carving! It’s the world’s most beloved Halloween-based activity, not counting making hilarious original jokes about “sexy” costumes. So listen up to these pumpkin-carving tips because it’s critical that you get this right.