Laura Jayne Martin

1. DMX on a BMX

I love people who do yoga. People who do yoga are cool and hot. They are so cool, they’re hot.

Some people say: “How can you get any work done with a DJ and a smoke machine and roughly 200 adolescents in your home office?” I say, try NOT working! 

I thought about doing something more logistically manageable, like, just going to the movies. I thought about not watching the movie.

9. I specifically told the bartender that what I wanted was a plain beer and what I did not want was any trouble.

You will need to feed your 20-something. They will likely have a fraught relationship with certain food items. Buy a lot of Nutella. Don’t give them any coconut water after midnight.

While I would have thought that was simply a typo, or code for a middle-aged pickup joint, the review had a different explanation. Apparently, it was a place that commonly had a mix of straight and gay patrons. Therefore gray.

I don’t want you to stop kissing me, ever.

If you never tell someone how you feel, then they will never know.

Four affluent 20-something chairs with bad manners and no impulse control, behave exactly as you’d expect them to behave in a metropolitan wasteland.

4. It’s not a hickey, it’s a tattoo… of a hickey.

Approximately eighty percent of buildings in New York City are brick, or brick masonry. This building, the one that we are in — where we are sitting on your bed and I am looking out the window — is not very far from where the Manhattan Brick Works was founded in 1863.