40 Additional Things Within Which R. Kelly May Or May Not Be Trapped
1. A box
2. A second, smaller closet within the original, larger closet
3. A well
4. A time travel experiment, where he must temporarily take the place of other people to “put right what once went wrong.”
5. A vestibule
6. A shiny vest
7. A tiny vest
8. A vestigial organ that he paid a ton of money to have enlarged and turned into the world’s most disgusting VIP room
9. A large drawer
10. A pair of large drawers
11. A carousel horse whose wooden stomach he cut open while shouting “I just need to survive the night!”
12. The secret passageway between the study and the kitchen in Mr. Boddy’s mansion
13. A dead-end job
14. A dead-end street
15. A dead endodontist after the world’s weirdest root canal
16. The mouth of a whale
17. A child-sized hotel
18. An adult-film-filled gym locker
19. A magician’s chest
20. A pirate’s chest
21. A woman’s chest, wait, no, sorry, I mean a woman’s BOOBS
22. A cabinet
23. A tire swing
24. A relationship with a partner who is incredulous with regard to his ability to fly
25. A sleeping bag
26. A car falling off a bridge in someone else’s dream
27. A gum wrapper he mistook for a fingertrap
28. A broken Gravitron
29. A fully-functioning elevator
30. Between the balusters of a staircase on a 1980’s sitcom set
31. The smallest in a series of Russian nesting dolls
32. A life-size version of the bathtub from the board game Mousetrap
33. On the L Train, between two dudes with their legs splayed so wide they could easily receive a full gynecological exam
34. Monopoly jail
35. The Château d’If, due to a tragic misunderstanding
36. The top floor of this parking garage, until the mechanic finishes remixing his ignition
37. A chimney
38. A hundred-year-old photograph of himself that a witch took
39. Dinner party conversation about a New York Times infographic, which is based on a trend reported elsewhere three months ago
40. His own mind 
