A Day In My Life As NYTimes and NYPost Headlines

NYTimes: Manhattan Woman Rises and Ambles to Kitchen after Six Snoozes
NYPost: LATE SLEEPER POPS PEEPERS!

NYTimes: Falling Water Temperatures Perturb Shower Resident
NYPost: FREAKY FREEZIES! Tenant to Boiler: Hit the Showers

NYTimes: Hearty Seven Whole Grain Breakfast New Signifier of Depressing Adulthood
NYPost: KASHEEH! Fiber Cereal Tastes like Dusty Balls

NYTimes: Well: Uptick in New Yorker’s Exercise Linked to Vanity Masked as Prudence
NYPost: Health Schmealth: Woman Chases Hot Bod, Her Own!

NYTimes: 76% of East Village Woman’s Commute Engulfed in Mystery Cibarious Odor
NYPost: Something’s Fishy: 6 Train Stinks like Hot Whale Guts!

NYTimes: Study: Positive Mental Outlook Easily Achieved Using Appetitive Stimulus
NYPost: FREE LUNCH RULES!

NYTimes: In the Internet Age, Imagination Opens Doors to Real World Possibilities
NYPost: HOUSE CALL: Weird WebMD Photos Cause Nausea!

NYTimes: Trend: Afternoon Siestas Increase Local Productivity and Joie de Vivre
NYPost: NAPPINESS = HAPPINESS

NYTimes: Completion of Huge Project Ahead of Schedule Invites Shocked Celebration
NYPost: BIG GULP: Milkshake Finished in Single Swallow

NYTimes: Classical Music Soothes Stress from Overwrought Sartorial Decision-making
NYPost: BACH NAKED: What to Wear to the Party?

NYTimes: City Room: Late-Night Subway Delays Cause Frustration and Disrupt Plans
NYPost: SPOILER ALERT: Idiot Ruins Surprise Party

NYTimes: Brooklyn Brooklyn Brooklyn Brooklyn Brooklyn Brooklyn Brooklyn
NYPost: AHHHH!!!

NYTimes: Found: Discovering the Last of the Dive Bars in Quaint Outer-borough Neighborhoods
NYpost: Shots, Shots, Shots, Shots, Shots!

NYTimes: Vigorous Employer-Employee Debate Over Group Direction Causes Work Freeze
NYPost: Terrible Cabbie: You’re Outta Here!

NYTimes: Fantastic Liberation from Technology Demands an Encore Performance
NYPost: iPhone 2: Lost in New York!

NYTimes: Powering Down: Device-Free Bedtime Regime Boosts Sleep Onset and Efficiency
NYPost: BLACK OUT!