Latest From
Thought Catalog
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The Joys Of Making Out
You should kiss someone if you like them. You’ll learn so much about them when you taste their spit. And it will also make you feel young again. No matter how experienced you are, your first kiss with someone always takes you back to that first time with that first person.
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On Bad Boys And Nice Guys
See, I’ve got a theory, and it’s that we’re all possessed by this need to be special, to be different – to matter so much to the person we choose to be with that we eclipse all that came before and all who will come after.
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How I Feel About My Body
Not only were the external stimuli I was exposed to promoting an “ideal” body image, they were also promoting a sense that unless I fit that particular ideal, I should be morbidly dissatisfied. And I was; for no particular reason other than I felt some sort of social pressure to find ways to hate myself,…
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The Different Types Of Third Wheels There Are
While they have common characteristics—a lone, often single humanoid in the company of a couple (and sometimes a really super cute, tiny little puppy the couple just added to the fold) with whom they are not sexually or romantically involved—third wheels come in many shapes and sizes, and often serve quite a functional purpose for…
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The 5 Kinds Of People You Will Meet On Grindr
The Traveler just so happens to always be visiting that day and is in dire need of meeting up because he’s lonely or needs someone to show him the city, (sidenote: lonely is another code word for “lets get naked.”)
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4 Drunk Conversations I Need To Stop Initiating
Apparently there’s this part of my brain, lodged uncomfortably somewhere between the temporal lobe and the cerebellum, that drives me against my will to start aimless conversations while drunk. No matter how unengaged the interlocutor, how uncomfortable the scenario, how forced the interaction–I’ll do it.
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Huff Your Own Poop
Jenkem first came to public attention thanks to several news investigations into the living conditions of Zambian street children. They found that the children enjoyed in order from most popular to least: cannabis, glue, and that most scrumptious of confections, jenkem—with jenkem scraping out just ahead of gasoline…
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Things I Will Do If I Have A Crush On You
If I have a crush on you, I will ignore you. This is stupid and I hate it but it’s what I do. I will look at you and be like, “OMG, you’re funny and cute and smart. Now, get the hell away from me!” This is a quality I have that drives me actually…
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5 Telltale Signs That Your Relationship Sucks
So I know there’s a song called “Rollercoaster of Love” but to me, love is less of a Magic Mountain thrill ride and more of a sweet happy (and occasionally exciting/terrifying) ride at Disneyland.
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To The One Who Broke Her Heart
Actually, forget that. Let’s not waste our time with meaningless pleasantries. Our acquaintanceship was as much out of necessity and courtesy as any could ever be. I loved her, and you moved yourself into her life practically overnight and settled your belongings, like a neighbor the co-op board barely approved of.
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How To Tell If Somebody Loves You
Somebody loves you if they pick an eyelash off of your face or wet a napkin and apply it to your dirty skin. You didn’t ask for these things, but this person went ahead and did it anyway. They don’t want to see you looking like a fool with eyelashes and crumbs on your face.…
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Top Five Things People Like To Write On Someone's Facebook Wall
Couples gushing about each other on their Facebook walls should be illegal. Like Time Warner Cable or Comcast needs to come to their door, find their router and smash it into a million pieces while screaming, “GO TO YOUR ROOM AND DON’T COME OUT UNTIL YOU’VE REALIZED THE ERROR OF YOUR WAYS!”
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A Guide To Having A Drug Dealer?
Attempting to meet up with your drug dealer is sort of like going to the gym. You wait 45 minutes for a text and then when you get it, you run to the address they listed. When you arrive panting and sweating, your dealer sends you another text that’s like, “Just kidding! I’m on the…
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5 Body Language Signs To Tell You He’s The One
Ladies, we all know men are hard to figure out. They are a constantly shifting puzzle, 10,000 pieces, all sky. Perpetually finding new ways to obfuscate their thoughts and subvert their emotions into complicated interpretive dance–it is left to us to pick up the scraps and rearrange them in a pattern we can understand.
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All The Times I Failed To Have A Threesome
In some ways, it’s more aggravating that I came so close to having a threesome. If it had never been a possibility, then I might never have cared. But to fly so close to the threesome sun, and then to fail, to fall… well, it makes me feel like Icarus.
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If I Were A Girl
If I were a girl I would cry a lot. I mean, I’m already emotional with a penis so I shudder to think what I would be like as a girl. I’d cry on my period, cry about my ex-boyfriend, cry about old best friends, cry at romantic comedies that I secretly abhorred on a…
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The Pros And Cons Of Being Introverted
Whatever the case, if you’re introverted, people just sort of grant you intelligence before you’ve hardly said a word. They’ll look you in the eye, raise an eyebrow and say “You’re one of those smart people, aren’t you? Got a lot going on in your head, huh,” and shake their head in a sort of…
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The Secret Lives Of Girls (The Things I Do That You Don't Want To Know I Do)
I know you probably think I’m some kind of uniquely filthy, completely nasty woman, but I’m not. Just because I like picking the wax out of my ears and rolling it into little balls, or because I spend an equal amount of time picking my nose and hoping that a little hair will come out…