Latest From
Thought Catalog
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104 Ways To Break The Ice
So I’ve never once had a relationship begin with something grand and romantic, like I came to expect from the movies, and I figured the same was true for most other people, as well. The opening lines of my relationships span from sweepingly idiotic to mundane, and while there are some sweet ones in there,…
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Do Not Send This Text
Listen, I want you to truly appreciate my sustained effort to pretend to be a reasonable human being. I’ve gone days without texting you, multiple days without texting you, three whole days without texting you. The cumulative willpower illustrated by this should leave your mind utterly boggled, exceedingly boggled.
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The 5 Most Important Pieces Of Relationship Advice
Don’t ever forget that the relationship you’re in is one you’ve chosen to be in, one that defines part of your life, for a week or a month, ten years, or maybe even forever.
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14 Reasons I Know It's Not Going To Work Out With Him
He has really nice abs. But I only know because he’s shirtless in four of his seven profile pictures.
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10 Reasons Not To Go Out This Weekend
This weekend, when one of your friends texts you with promises of glory, of true love, and the possibility of dollar domestics — you say no. You say no, you gather up the scraps of your dignity, and you order a pizza.
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5 Embarrassing Social Blunders You Have Maybe Made
Sometimes, when in situations like these, you find yourself in a conversation where the rules are that you have to keep making up these clever little witticisms to stay in the conversation. It is like a verbal game of ping pong.
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My Stint Working At A Massage Parlor
The listing didn’t have an exorbitant number of exclamation points or asterisks, which was a pretty good sign. I mean, it wasn’t my first choice. But when you have no choice, last choice starts to look pretty good.
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The Joy Of Thinking (Differently)
The universe becomes uncanny at its core, always shifting and realigning depending on how you look at it.
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Slut-Shaming In Advertising (But Not Really)
The art director didn’t invent a negative connotation for this ad, your brain did. Take responsibility for that, if you’re upset about what you’re seeing.
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What Your Relationship Status Says About You
Regular sexual intercourse two or three times a week, usually Thursday nights after The Office and on the weekend; Saturday date night dinner at ethnic fusion restaurant whose assimilation of Southeast-Asian or Latin flavors one earnestly abridges with “wow.”
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How Facebook Has Changed The Way Young Girls View Themselves
I’m not making any argument for or against Facebook, or debating how much exposure to creating various profiles online should be deemed appropriate, but I have noticed that, in any case, the way young girls see themselves and the ways in which their self-image develops during puberty is probably and almost undeniably changing.
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Replacements For The Phrase "I Love You"
So, though they may be a bit cumbersome, I propose a few new terms that more succinctly get to the heart of the matter. This, my friends, is true love.
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Why You Shouldn't Text That Jerk Who Hasn't Called You Back
So it’s been a week since he left you at your doorstep with an, “I’ll call you tomorrow,” and all you want to do is give that jerk a piece of your mind. Feel free to let loose on his rude self if it makes you feel better, but know that all he’s doing with…
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5 Things Men Are Not Allowed To Wear
If you are the kind of man who, on his way out for a night on the town or an afternoon with friends, decides to finish his otherwise respectable outfit of decent jeans and a well-cut shirt with a pair of scuffed New Balances, ugh.
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Seven Sleepwalking Stories
I woke up the next morning on a couch in the laundry room, three floors down from where I lived. I was wearing nothing but a pair of boxer briefs.
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I Am So Handsome
I feel sorry for ugly people. Actually, that’s not true, but it’s a thought I deliberately generate sometimes in order to feel like I’m a good and caring person.
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How To Be Emotionally Stable Without Getting Bored
Stop checking your email because you know it will just be your friends asking you if you’re okay, and you don’t want to admit that you really aren’t but know they won’t believe you if you lie and say you are.