If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck, it’s a relationship.

You still don’t understand how LMFAO or Skrillex qualify as music. It just sounds like dying.

Is it possible to have friends who are purely for the Internet, and others you get to interact with out in actual society?

I know people in my actual life who, at the ripe old age of 24, say to me in all seriousness that they can “no longer” fulfill their dream of coming to Europe, or that they are “too old” to take the night classes towards the Master’s they want.

Giggle alert: the infamous sex scene between Mila Kunis and Natalie Portman transpires at the 69-minute mark.

Naked parties, naked runs, and other acts of synchronized stripping in the middle of campus. Usually occurs during finals week.

You’re old enough to know that hurting yourself doesn’t feel good anymore but you’re too young to know how to really take care of yourself.

Strike up a conversation with a stranger.

I hope that in spite of all this you’ll speak well of me and I hope it’s with a smile, the kind of smile that hides a little something at the corners, the kind of smile that people will ask you what are you smiling at?

In the case of “Zombie,” no one really knows more than ten words to it, anyway, so as long as you can shout “Zombay-ay-ay!” and “In your head! In your hay-ay-ay-ead!,” you’re more than in.