“my character hasnt seen his brother before. i figured that out. he doesnt even know he HAS a brother. but he doesss have a brother. complicated actually”

This isn’t to depress you or make you think about death and get sad and stuff, it’s just a reminder that we’ve hit the jackpot having the opportunity of life.

As an underemployed 23-year-old who spends most of her money on booze, I have become uncomfortably good at stuffing my face with relatively healthy meals for practically no money. Allow me to share my wisdom!

Your mother is starting to take an active interest in the state of your love life. The second your mom cares about whether or not you’re getting laid, you know things are bad.

While the camp and cheese that was a Sex and the City (and Carrie) staple worked in the late 90s and early 2000s, it feels a little too optimistic and corny in 2013.

1. Lizzie McGuire

When you’re exhausted and just want to crash and not deal with anyone and you’ve got a big, fluffy, comfortable bed with fresh sheets and blankets all to yourself.

Love someone when they’re drunk and it looks like their face is melting and they’re stuffing food in their mouth, sauce dripping down the sides. Your body will recoil because you’ll think for a split second that you fell in love with an animal instead of an actual human being.

Millions of people want to be in the NBA. But only 500 or so people each year have what it takes to be in the NBA. And you know what? Half those players are on the bench all the time. This is how everything works and odds are that you aren’t talented enough to make…

Drinking is best done slowlllllyyyyyyy. Think of it as like a car and you’re the one behind the steering wheel. Now you have two choices: you can either drive yourself to victory in a puttering Pinto or break the speed limit in a Jaguar and reach a James Dean-style fate.

A new song has hit the beloved YouTube by singer/songwriter duo, Garfunkel & Oates — and it’s about getting plowed in the bum to appease the tough rules of Christianity.