Going on service trips in college and making your profile picture you, smiling, surrounded by a bunch of half-naked children of various ethnicities.

1. We think people from other parts of the country–particularly those on the left coast–aren’t as “real” and “hardened” as we are.

It doesn’t matter if your date wears panties or rocks boxer-briefs, there is something incredibly sexy about making dinner for someone.

The key to cracking this guy’s code is to pull Inception on him–in the sense that you need to convince him that it’s actually you who is making the first move.

Sit in a strange position when farting, so the fart bubble does not go up the cooter.

We pick out some super tight little shorts with daggers on them and a little white bralette top, grey weed socks, and some old Chucks. No underwear. I’m into this idea.

The next morning, I woke up early and gathered all my stuff before he woke up. I took the bus home smelling like Jack Daniels and cigarettes, and avoided everyone’s eyes. I took a long, hot shower, scrubbed every bit of myself, and fell asleep for the rest of the morning.

Some eat to live, but those of us living to eat will take great pleasure in this compilation of things that are terrible and perfect for our heart all at the same time.

My great grandmother was Martin Luther King Jr.’s personal secretary. They were having an affair.

Keeping your fingernails neat and trimmed is a sign of sexual intelligence. No girl wants you venturing around her nether regions with jagged talons.

In the quest to invent strategies for becoming blindingly blitzed, no group excels quite like the young.

Co-Le Sales Company asks: “Do you still beat your wife?” Their answer: “Maybe you never should have stopped.”