When a friend asks you why you can’t come to an all-night rager, you simply send them a picture of Lindsay Lohan circa today and write, “Because I don’t want…

I really wish that Laura Linney’s brother murdered her at the end. They need at least one plotline where love actually results in murder.

Pretty Facebook Girls, you are the unicorns of the social media world. Your life is a blur of candid photos that somehow come out looking like something that would win…

Oh, you’re going to just tell your crush how you really feel about them? You’re just going to do that and ignore my advice, which was don’t text them back…

Now it’s time to check out and also time to ask yourself: “What’s my highest-performing investment of the year?” The answer is Chipotle.

You end up busy with work, friends, family, dating, and your trivia league, but how much down time do you have?

The overachiever is always the first person in the seminar to use words like “hermeneutics.” They come to class with detailed notes, typed, of course, so as to more easily…

A tour through the DMB catalogue reveals not only lines dripping in sexual innuendo, but a peculiar fascination with and celebration of cunnilingus.

I’m afraid of oncoming trains and that feeling right before a train approaches and the wind is blowing all around you, when you have no choice but to submit to…