Never use jargon words like reconceptualize, demassification, attitudinally, judgmentally. They are hallmarks of a pretentious ass.

Every single day, write down a list in two columns: what brought you satisfaction and what brought you frustration. Look at the patterns. This is how you should be adjusting…

Take a look at Hollywood. All of the classic beauties were brunettes.

“The recycle bins at Seaworld also just get emptied into the dumpster. They are just there to make the visitors feel better.”

I never thought I would still be nomadic. My original round-the-world trip was only supposed to last one year before I went back home, found a “real” job, settled down,…

So I don’t hate Kate Menendez because she chose to be rich. I hate her because she chose to be an a-hole.

10. You constantly entertain wild, all too memorable threesomes. (Couch + Blanket + Alcohol.)

6. You’ve frenched a juggalo.

“If each dead person became a ghost, there’d be more than 100 billion of them haunting us all. Creepy, but cool.”

When you meet someone for the first time, realize that you know nothing about them. You see race, gender, age, clothes. Forget it. You know nothing.

“Eight years and this is the ending we get?!?”

The person that was cheated on is showered with cards and nail polish and cookie dough from her friends, friends that were once yours as well, but now will turn…

No one is pumped about moving back in with their parents. No one is like, “Sweet, after all of this time developing myself as an individual and getting to taste…

Bragging about being from the 90’s, dressing like you’re from the 80’s and listening to music from the 70’s.