A profound list of all the reasons I’m convinced on a daily (often hourly) basis that I do, in fact, suck at raising another human being.

“You’re going to regret talking to me like that. I want to have fun, and we’re going to whether you like it or not. Tommy too.”

When it’s too cold to get up to make coffee or turn the shower on or generally be a human.

We have baby showers and wedding parties as if it’s a huge accomplishment and cause for celebration to be able to get knocked up or find someone to walk down…

They’re sort of like dogs, in that “running to the door to greet you when you come home from work” and, honestly, it’s a pretty nice feeling.

If your roommate brings her boyfriend around too much, just walk around with your shirt off.

Years ago, some feminist on the internet told me I was “Privileged.”

Found on AskReddit. 1. P.Diddy. I briefly worked as a cleaner/server/skivvy in P. Diddy/Sean Comb’s house in East Hampton when I was a teenager. He was a huge douche, sadly.

The problem with the new motivational mantra is that the notion of comparing ourselves to Beyoncé is – what’s the word? – total horse s*%t.

It is the city that is always one step ahead of the game, going non-stop 24/7 in its quest to dominate the world stage.

Here’s an inspirational travel quote for each week of the year (plus one for good measure) to keep you dreaming of exotic lands.

The first picture is of the dog. The second is a selfie of a pretty girl with full cheeks and choppy hair. “Looks like Jennifer Lawrence,” I think.

It takes a lot for a person to make you feel uncomfortable, as you’ve spent at least 18 years witnessing and interacting with the craziest of the crazies.