A bath product that is deemed “too fancy” to use. It will be stored in the cupboard or displayed somewhere until the end of time.

You have a “grown-up” personality for things like meeting people’s parents or going on job interviews, and sometimes your voice changes like two whole octaves. You’re like Christian Bale slipping…

“Is this a typical Monday night for you guys? It’s so slow.”

She waited for me outside in her car, took a picture of me when I left the restaurant over an hour later, and quickly drove off.

Invest in active clothing — not necessarily workout clothing, but something you can move in. Get a water bottle, a backpack, sneakers and a first aide kit. Pack up and…

These women would all be basement rape-slaves if it wasn’t for the feminist movement.

It wasn’t you, it was me. I was having a very Girls-esque quarter-life crisis and I needed to get the fuck out of dodge.

You find yourself wondering, out loud, “Why can’t I find an A-list boyfriend?” and then you realize: this is my life, these are my choices.

I’d like to say that I’m always going to be better about this stuff now, that seeing how not bad this whole thing turned out to be was an important…

I still have all of the notes my 5th grade classmates wrote before I left.

These are books I loved so much that I read them in marathon sittings, wanting to get to the end but hoping they never finished.