Lance Pauker

Some nice, refreshing real-talk from House of Cards King Kevin Spacey.

Not unlike that stern high school teacher who gave the class clown a week’s worth of detention on the first day, it’s the first blast that really sets the tone here.

If one thing holds true on the internet, it’s that the lines we were told not to cross keep moving further and further out to sea…

Sadly, recent years have demonstrated that when given unbridled access to social media, celebrities are far from immune to one of the few universal human truths…

As summer internships come to a close, it’s time to loosen up those starched-out ties, make Facebook statuses with an irrational amount of caps, and tweet out a pic of your now-empty NYU summer dorm room, ultimately a failed attempt to manufacture ridiculously forced and underserved nostalgia.

In 2013, you’ve gotta project an image that you know what’s up.

Over the years, we’ve changed just as much as the girl who came to college from a nice, rural town. And while she’s now much more fun to look at, we’re all a bit wimpier.

The more miserable a job is, the more they have to compensate you for being miserable

I. If You’re Hosting a Pregame, Merge Friend Groups.

3. The Lyrics to Drake Songs

Dim lights + a lot of alcohol + bar etiquette + being in college = a lot of pretty funny things.

In which you haven’t totally decided if you want to spend the next four years with the kids currently taking Burnetts to the face in your dorm room.

Not being able to chime in about how “SICK, dude” ‘Homeland’ was last night is the one of the bigger first-world problems out there.

Whenever I’m not unsure about the direction my life is going, I simply sign on to Facebook, look at a bunch of pictures, and read a bunch of statuses from people who went to my high school.

3. The Couple Who Got Married Way Too Early, Have a Kid, and Clearly Won’t Make It

Public Relations: In addition to only being allowed to write emails in all caps, you are required to constantly attend events that specialize in mid-level dudes cheating on their girlfriends with 22-year-old assistants.

Thursday has been the new Friday for years now, so categorizing Thursday as a weeknight is definitely debatable.

1. The Irrational Confidence Guy