Kyle Benson

Trust is built when we are reminded that our partner is there for us. They reach out for us or grab our hand when we reach out for them. We realize our needs matter to our partner. We forget the details about our hurt, and the negative event in the relationship slips from our mind.

Happiness in our relationships does not come by finding the right partner, it requires you to become the right partner as well.

Avoidants are recycled back into the dating pool more often, but they don’t date each other because they both want space.

The key to effective communication is to do so inoffensively, instead of putting your partner on the spot in the blame game, encouraging them to be open with you without feeling attacked or blamed.

From what I’ve learned, beating up a loved one is never a fair fight. You know their deepest vulnerabilities, their most important values. This gives you the power to structure what you say in a way that cuts them down with a machete of words.

Not wanting to want our lovers is a defensive mechanism against the past pain of wanting, caring, loving, and depending on another and not getting it.

Talking about the issue you’re facing is like taking a plunger to the toilet. It releases all of the built up emotional tension.

In essence, choosing a romantic partner is choosing a set of problems. Believing that being compatible with your partner means everything should come naturally is a sure way to naturally end any relationship you will have.

Whether you’re Brad Pitt, Barack Obama, or Sofía Vergara, negative events are inevitable in your relationship.

Good sex doesn’t just happen like magic.