I Wonder If They Knew About Us

I wonder if the world knew.

Sure, we were aware the whole time that our love wasn’t the kind everyone would be excited to hear about. We were careful, scared that there might be eyes lurking right around the corner. Though, I wonder if we were careful enough.

I never believed in forbidden love. I’d watched movies about Romeo and Juliet, Jack and Rose, Allie and Noah, shrugging at every single one of them. “If they really wanted to be together, they’d find a way.” I’d think aloud. It wasn’t until you came that I’d finally realize how hard they really had it.

But still, I wonder if we hid it well enough. I wonder if they heard all the thoughts running in my mind every time I sat somewhere, waiting for you, and the excitement I felt as soon as you appeared. If they somehow felt my heart jump out of my chest every inch you came closer to kiss me, or every time you gently placed your hands on me, running your fingers up and down my skin. Or when you picked me up, wrapped my legs around your skinny waist, and held me in your arms for so long that I began to worry about whether or not I was getting too heavy for you. Do you think they knew that it was our glasses of rum that had been left on the grass that night?

And that night, in the shitty hotel room, where I took in every scent, warmth, and feel of your body, between every exhales and soft giggles, as you made love to me. Do you think they felt the way your hip bones pierced my thighs as you held me on top of you? I know I still do. 

But how about now that you’ve gone, can the universe hear my heart scream, cry, and call your name in a hopeless attempt for you to come back? Can they see my fingers violently tremble as a result of longing for your skin?

We tried to hide our love in the dark, still I can’t help but wonder…

Will the world ever know about the strong love we shared for each other? Do you think they do?