Love Doesn’t Always Come When You’re Ready For It

Love didn't come when I was shouting after it.

By

William Stitt
William Stitt

When I was single, I’d often find myself falling into periods of obsessing about love. It wasn’t productive, and I knew it was only fueling my obsession more. But I couldn’t seem to stop fixating.

An endless loop of questions plagued me.

“Was I going to ever meet the right guy? Would I recognize him when I saw him? Or, was I destined to cycle back and forth with mediocre men who never saw me for what I was worth?”

This kind of thinking would freak me out. I felt myself irrationally become mad whenever my friends would couple off. Where was my great love? I was ready, too! I was ready for love and it still wasn’t showing up. I was open to love and it was still nowhere to be found.

The harder you focus on the thing you don’t have, the more impossible it begins to seem.

I wanted it so badly. Almost too badly. It’s like a watched pot that refuses to boil. Even though you’ve done everything right. The water is hot enough. You’ve kept the lid on. All signs point to readiness.

It reminds me of the old proverb: Man plans and God laughs.

There’s no formula to when or how you’ll meet the right person. And it won’t always happen when you want it to – when you’re praying and hoping and wishing on every 11:11 you see.

I’m currently in love in a way I’ve ever been before. I’m in a relationship that challenges me, comforts me, and above all else, makes me feel so, so loved. But this relationship didn’t come when I was expecting, nor when I wanted it the most. This relationship evolved and grew into something I couldn’t have dreamed of.

Love didn’t come when I was shouting after it.

I don’t know when you’re going to meet your somebody. I wish I could tell you. I can’t promise you it will be tomorrow or next month or even this year.

But when it falls into place, everything will seem a little clearer. You’ll realize it doesn’t matter when it happens or if it’s later than everyone else. All that matters is being with that person.

Love will come. Maybe not as quickly as you’d like, but it will come. I can’t wait for you to meet it. Thought Catalog Logo Mark


About the author

Kris Miller

popcorn aficionado & full time hopeless romantic.