Kitty Fitzgerald

If I want to be rammed by a stranger, that’s my prerogative.

The friend zone, while a terribly one-dimensional term, is real. Real in that if he doesn’t have an inner desire to sleep with you, he never will.

A girl who swears like a sailor is the kind of girl who can roll with the punches. Your buddies all love her because she knows how to take a joke and is probably going to dish it right back.

Drunk sex should be reserved for people you trust a bit more than someone you’ll want to immediately call an Uber for.

You eat your food slowly. And not just popsicles. Those who aren’t in a rush to devour their meals take their time in all aspects.

“If the timing were different…”

Men in their twenties (rarely) have anything satisfying to offer you. A man in his forties (or even tip-toeing into his 50s) has been around enough to know where the clitoris is located and that simply spitting on your vagina isn’t enough lubrication.