To Girls Who Want To Be Treated Like A Queen, You Need To Calm The Fuck Down

I was browsing Instagram looking at impossibly attractive women in lingerie, as one does on Instagram, when I stumbled upon an ~*~inspirational quotes~*~ account. Nothing too wild, tame sentiments on not giving up and loving after being broken, not sure if it was concerning people or appliances, but I digress.

One quote immediately popped out at me.

“I’m waiting for my King because I’m nothing less than a Queen.”

Lol, bitch, what?

I get the intent behind it. It’s an exaggerated version of, “I deserve better than this.” And sure! I bet you do! Good to have standards.

But…Queen? Oh honey.

Who do you think you are?!

No, seriously. I’m asking. Which royal family were you born into? Do you have a castle? Can I visit? What’s your current take on America’s foreign policy?

Basically, if you aren’t this woman, please don’t refer to yourself as “a Queen.”

You are not Mia Thermopolis. And no guy is going to fall all over himself for a chance to pamper your entitled ass.

Go date a regular human being who also treats you like a regular human being. Again, unless you are Queen Elizabeth. You do whatever you want, Babe.