This Is How You Hurt Yourself Without Even Realizing You’re Doing So

You hurt yourself when you haven’t established a foundation of self-love.

By

Jérôme Licht

You hurt yourself when you think you have to be somewhere or be doing something by a certain time or at a certain age just because everyone else is. When you measure your life according to where everyone else is you’ll always feel behind someone. But if you just focus on your path you won’t be deterred like you aren’t doing what you are supposed to.

You hurt yourself when you play the comparing game. If you think you’re in a competition you’re already going to lose because the only person you should be competing with is yourself. And when you steer away from focusing on yourself what gets replaced with that is jealousy and when you’re jealous of someone for whatever reason, those negative feeling suddenly repel whatever it is that they have that you want.

If you want what someone else might have instead of being bitter about it follow in their example and use the law of attraction to get it too.

They probably haven’t gotten what they have or amounted to where they are by focusing on where they aren’t. They focus on where they want to go.

You hurt yourself when you choose toxic people and habits. We all know when we aren’t making a choice that reflects our values. We all know when someone isn’t right for us. So why do people choose toxicity when they know life would be better without it? It’s because toxic people and toxic things become habits that very easily become a part of one’s routine. That friend you can’t let go of even though you know you’re better off without, you make the excuse you have a history. That habit you can’t break that you know isn’t good for you becomes semi addicting. Realize when you choose anything toxic it’ll infect you too.

You hurt yourself when you play the victim card. Someone who plays the victim card will never take complete ownership of their life and when they aren’t happy they will blame everyone else.

You hurt yourself when you stick to something even though it doesn’t feel right and you feel like something is off. Trust those feelings. Trust your gut. Quitting doesn’t negatively reflect you when it’s something not bringing out the best in you. Don’t walk the path of someone else’s choosing just because you’re afraid of finding your own and don’t think everything is written in stone. You have the ability to change anything about your life if you are brave enough to do so.

You hurt yourself when you think you have to be in a relationship but you don’t care about being in the right one.

It’s better to be alone and figure out what you want than in a relationship with someone who doesn’t have those things but you think it’s better to just have someone. The wrong person will always make you feel lonely. If someone isn’t right for you don’t try and paint them to be for show.

You hurt yourself when you haven’t established a foundation of self-love. And it isn’t about being cocky or thinking you’re the best, it comes down to knowing your worth so you know when to step away from people who aren’t meeting that standard.

If you allow people to tell you how you’re supposed to be treated, you are going to wonder why no one treats you that well. How you treat yourself and the self-respect you show the person looking back at you in the mirror, will reflect every relationship you have.

You hurt yourself by living in the past. No matter how much you replay what might have happened or how you cling to it, you can’t change it.

You hurt yourself clinging to an old relationship and not allowing yourself to have a new one. When you replay the past and paint it in a way that it was better than it actually was, you’re always going to be depressed and feeling like what you have now can’t even compare to what you had then. But it isn’t the reality of the situation.

You hurt yourself by thinking too much about the future. You’re always going to feel anxious if you worry about things that haven’t happened yet. Learn to be present.

You hurt yourself by not feeling through emotions and repressing them. Even if the emotions are ugly and ones you aren’t proud of. If you repress feelings you’ll never be able to step away from it and it’ll consume you. No matter what the emotion is express it.

You feel something for someone you tell them or someone else will and you’ll have to watch that.

If you are upset with someone tell them or those feeling will build up and what gets projected out is something a lot more ugly than it was initially.

If you are scared or hurt or lonely that vulnerability does not make you weak that’s what connects you to people. That’s how you build relationships. If you put up walls to protect yourself you’ll always find yourself lonely dealing with these things. And it’s through sharing experiences we learn things about ourselves.

You hurt yourself when you settle.

When you settle for love you are denying yourself a chance to know how wonderful the real thing can be. When you settle in a job you are denying yourself of the possibility of excelling in something and being the best. When you settle for life you are denying yourself of happiness and fulfillment.

Don’t settle even if you don’t know what you want or who you want to be with or what you want to do, you have time to figure it out.

You deserve to wake up every single day looking forward to what’s ahead.

If something hurts you it’s because something has to change and change isn’t a bad thing. Sometimes change is essential.

Use those feeling of discomfort and lack of fulfillment to guide you to a place where you look back remembering when things might have hurt but grateful you aren’t there anymore. Thought Catalog Logo Mark


About the author

Kirsten Corley

Writer living in Hoboken, NJ with my 2 dogs.