In 2019, Be Your Own Best Friend

People rushing in and out the entrance. The sounds of muffled voices and jazz music playing in the background. She was sitting in the middle of the hallway where space was narrow that she needed to move up every time someone tried to pass by. Patiently waiting for her friends to arrive, she felt her heart beat faster as time was passing by. It was the night of her graduation and she barely could hold in her excitement. Not long after, they came through the door and exchanged smooches with each other.

”Cheers!” as three cocktail glasses made a symphony. After congratulating her, they plopped down in the corner seat and took their phones out and started to text rapidly. As the night went on, they made more eye contact with their screens than to each other.

That same night, she broke down in tears the minute when she got home. This night meant so much to her. Not only because of her graduation but to prove herself wrong that her friends didn’t care about her at all. Gradually, she started to recognize a pattern in the way how they interact with each other. This was not the first time that she was doubting about her friendship. In times when they need someone to listen to their problems, she laid her ears out without hesitation and think carefully before she blurted out some insensitive words. Sadly, when it’s her turn to open her heart to them, they only listen to answer, not to understand. Impatiently waiting for their turn, they always talk about themselves and leave no room to actually hold a meaningful conversation and take the friendship to the next level.

This night was the last drop that finally has hit her awake. She promised from that night on that she would take care of herself first instead of always making sure that everyone is satisfied and content.

Covered in cold sweat, she woke up with a throbbing headache and an immense craving for water. Everything was slowing coming back to her from yesterday; New Year’s Eve, the last day of 2019. Somehow she felt a strange feeling waking up as if she was reliving the past for a moment or so. She quickly shrugged off that feeling and arose from bed and went out for a morning walk.

Inhaling the fresh air and feeling the crisped leaves under her footsteps, she looked up to the clear sky and felt her heart was smiling. Walking past a small river, she sat down on a bench and took out her book to read. A crumpled small piece of paper fell out of her pocket. She carefully unfolds the paper without breaking it, and by the look of the words – she immediately recognized her handwriting in which it said with curly letters:

In 2019, be your own best friend.

Looking straight into the very first day of 2020, she smiled at the paper and said softly to herself:

”I sure was and will always be.”