Kim Quindlen

“E-readers” are not a discussion topic we’re interested in.

You unintentionally trust someone a little less when they tell you they’ve never eaten Chipotle.

You have a hard time not thinking of most people you encounter as “basic.”

The ultimate end result of achieving physical perfection is apparently being married to Kanye West… so it’s pretty much the opposite of worth it.

According to the character intros in the Full House theme song, typical hobbies for San Francisco dwellers include feeding sandwiches to dogs, waxing cars that you don’t own, and hanging portraits of yourself on the family mantle.

Getting up more than 15 minutes before you have to leave the house.

Do you know what that’s like? To regularly experience the sentiment of what if this is the moment I legitimately die?

If you do gain the Freshman 15, don’t take it personally when you go home for Christmas and your rude relatives want to talk about it with you. Old people just like to talk about what people weigh. It’s one of their main hobbies.

Google Search Erase / Netflix / I Literally Can’t

Effort is more important than talent.

There are few things more liberating in this life than having your worst fear realized.

Maybe we’re preoccupied with monitoring the illusion of our lives because it’s the only way that makes happiness seem like a real and attainable thing.

I can’t look at any more photos of people kissing or I will burst into flames.

Correcting someone.

When someone asks if you’re happy.

If I get sad at any point today, I can watch YouTube videos of people falling.

Does he look you in the eye when you’re trying to talk to him about something?

1. No.