25 Things Only City Women Understand

1. Nothing is ever too weird to happen, especially on public transportation. Nudity, urination, vomiting, cursing, couples getting in fights, tears, drunkenness. You name it, we’ve seen it. Occasionally, all at the same time.

2. We’ve learned to sleep through everything, because something is always going on right outside our window. Parades, marathons, drunken fights between BFFs, trains. We have mastered the art of sleeping through anything.

3. Side-stepping a mess on the sidewalk at the very last second is one of our special talents. Whether it’s vomit, a dropped ice cream cone, or a pigeon, we’re always ready to move. To give you a Dwight Schrute reference point, we’re somewhere between a snake and a mongoose… and a panther.

4. When taking out the trash, it is not possible to do it successfully unless you first kick the bin before opening the lid. Because, rats.

5. After countless experiences of getting around by bus, train, or on foot, the experience of being in an actual car, on the highway, is suddenly terrifying.

6. We have zero patience for slow walkers. We will walk around you and we won’t feel bad about it.

7. We don’t really have many space issues. The idea of a kitchen and a dining room and a family room all being completely separate rooms is totally foreign to us. Our dinner table is the couch or the bed. We could cook a 3-course meal inside an elevator. No bedroom is ever too small a bedroom. Closets are a luxury, not a right.

8. Uber is a verb, a noun, an adjective, an adverb, a means to an end, a way of life, a Godsend, a miracle, a beautiful surprise, a beacon of hope on a cold winter’s night.

9. Brunch is basic and cliche and stereotypical and we don’t care because it’s brunch and we love it.

10. In terms of appearance, we know how to look like we’ve put in some effort without actually putting in a lot of effort (dry shampoo, messy buns, a nice dress to distract people from the fact that we’re hungover, etc). But we simultaneously know how to be comfortable. If we want to rock a pair of tennis shoes on the walk to work and then change into nice shoes when we get to the office, damnit we will do it and we won’t give a flying f*ck.

11. Feeling alone in a city may seem nearly impossible to an outsider. But in fact, it’s pretty much the opposite. Being lonely in a city is very much possible, and it actually takes a lot of effort to build a strong support group.

12. We’re all about maximizing what we’ve been given – our rooms and apartments are basically a living, breathing advertisement for The Container Store.

13. Nothing is better than the image of a beautiful skyline on a sunny day.

14. The “Walk” and “Don’t walk” lights on a crosswalk are more like guidelines than actual rules.

15. Spring is not just a time of beautiful flowers and longer amounts of daylight. It’s also when we remember that, oh yeah, other people live in this city too. I just forgot because I feel like I haven’t seen humans for DAYS. #winter

16. We have a hard time sitting in one place for too long. We’re just so used to a million different things happening around us 24/7, to the point where sometimes, the idea of sitting still is actually torturous.

17. Delivery is not a dinner option. It’s… a way of life.

18. When you live in a city, worrying about hitting 10,000 steps with your FitBit is a joke.

19. Going to the gym is a great thing. But sometimes, we get just as much exercise from going up and down the subway stairs every day and living in a fourth floor walk-up.

20. Farmers markets are very much real, and very much amazing.

21. Sometimes the term “city girl” gives off the vibe that all we want to do is go to happy hours in high rise buildings. Sure, that’s nice. But we’re just as happy to walk down to a local pub and chill out in the corner with a cheap beer, or to go to the park on a sunny day and sit in the grass for hours. Glamorous is fun. But we like everyday, ordinary stuff just as much.

22. Our ability to jump out of the way of a fast-moving bike is on par with the reflexes of Jackie Chan.

23. Grocery shopping is not a leisurely thing in the city. One does not merely “peruse” a Trader Joe’s. You make a list, you’re in, you’re out, boom. It’s the only way to survive.

24.  The public transportation system in a foreign city is not a source of fear. It’s just a challenge, and we will nail it.

25. Silence sometimes feels like one of the loudest things we ever hear.