25 Kinds Of Pictures People Post On Instagram (And What They’re REALLY Trying To Say)
What They Post: A photo collage of them and their boyfriend, for no reason whatsoever. What They're Trying To Stay: I don't have a life or any friends and I'm pooping right now and I had to find some way to entertain myself.
By Kim Quindlen
1. What They Post: A picture of a wine glass, with a blurry background.
What They’re Trying To Say: I’m dead on the inside.
2. What They Post: A “candid” picture of them laughing with their significant other.
What They’re Trying To Say: We had to take 17 of these before we got the right shot. But look how much happier we are than you!
3. What They Post: A seemingly random and uninteresting photo of them standing to the side, not facing the camera.
What They’re Trying To Say: Nothing is happening in this photo. But I look skinny.
4. What They Post: A photo collage of them and their boyfriend, for no reason whatsoever.
What They’re Trying To Say: I don’t have a life or any friends and I’m pooping right now and I had to find some way to entertain myself.
5. What They Post: A picture of a bowl of fruit, or of a really healthy-looking meal, or of yogurt, or of something else that looks healthy and boring and the worst.
What They’re Trying To Say: Once I’m done eating this I’m probably going to eat an entire sleeve of Oreos and then polish off a pint of ice cream and then cook a full box of pasta. But at least I look like I’m a healthy eater.
6. What They Post: A picture of them dressed to the nines with some friends. A caption that says “A night out with simply the best!”
What They’re Trying To Say: I hate every single one of these bitches and we all like to talk about each other behind our backs. But I have no other friends and we just took six shots each so now I hate them less.
7. What They Post: Anything from Starbucks.
What They’re Trying To Say: I’m basic.
8. What They Post: A Pic Stitch of them with their best friend, with several photos and a caption saying “Happy Birthday to my Number One!!!”
What They’re Trying To Say: Yes technically this collage is about wishing my BFF a Happy Birthday, but really it’s just an opportunity to re-post pictures where I look really pretty.
9. What They Post: A #tbt of something that happened last week.
What They’re Trying To Say: It’s only been a few days, but I look like a dime piece in this picture.
10. What They Post: Artistic cookies that they copied off a Pinterest recipe.
What They’re Trying To Say: I’m having a mental breakdown right now.
11. What They Post: A caption that says “Photo by ____.”
What They’re Trying To Say: I need to make sure people know I wasn’t alone and I wasn’t the one who took this picture of myself sleeping adorably.
12. What They Post: A picture of a salad.
What They’re Trying To Say: This salad looks disgusting and boring and sad. But maybe if I upload a photo of it, it will make the $17 I spent on it worth it.
13. What They Post: A Bloody Mary.
What They’re Trying To Say: I’m hungover and I want everyone to know it.
14. What They Post: An artistic shot of the beer they’re drinking.
What They’re Trying To Say: This party is boring and I’m completely sober so the least I can do is get a good Insta out of it.
15. What They Post: A picture of a book.
What They’re Trying To Say: I’ve only read three pages of this, but I like the idea of coming off as intellectual.
16. What They Post: Tickets of some sort – to a sports game or a Broadway show or a concert.
What They’re Trying To Say: I didn’t manage to get a picture of me at the actual event, but I still need it documented that I was there.
17. What They Post: A full-length shot of them standing awkwardly next to someone else.
What They’re Trying To Say: I’m not even that good of friends with this person, but I’ve been saving this outfit for a long time and everyone needs to see it. That person just happened to be standing there and I needed someone to be in the photo with me so I don’t look narcissistic.
18. What They Post: A crazy close-up selfie of them and their bestie at a bar.
What They’re Trying To Say: I’m feeling bloated but I still want people know I went out tonight.
19. What They Post: A photo of them laying out by the pool.
What They’re Trying To Say: My life is better than yours. And I don’t realize how gross my feet look in this photo.
20. What They Post: A basic shot of the sunset.
What They’re Trying To Say: I don’t know how to be artsy but this is my attempt.
21. What They Post: A skyline shot of the city they live in.
What They’re Trying To Say: I’m trying to convince myself that I don’t hate the city I live in, and this is helping a little bit.
22. What They Post: Them standing on top of a mountain.
What They’re Trying To Say: I just hiked up this entire small hill/mountain because I’m more physically fit and a better yuppie than you.
23. What They Post: A selfie of them with a Marilyn Monroe quote as the caption.
What They’re Trying To Say: I’m feeling really insecure today and I want attention.
24. What They Post: A girl standing next to her boyfriend/boy toy/man piece/hook-up, with her hand on his stomach.
What They’re Trying To Say: *growls* He’s mine bitches. Back off or I will cut you.
25. What They Post: A #regram.
What They’re Trying To Say: This picture makes me look cool in some way or another, so I need to share it with all of my friends that aren’t mutual friends with the original ‘Grammer.