Kelly Douglas

I dream of your dark hair and soft lips, your arms enveloping me as we meet once more, warming each other through the bitter chill.

2018, thank you for the struggles. You’ve tested every iota of our internal strength.

Life will wrap you in security again. 

I pray to hear your heartbeat next to mine, creating a rhythmic cadence that will last until the end of time.

I look in the mirror, and all I can see is a hollow where my stomach should be.

Stay grateful for the winds that blow against you. 

I look deep into your eyes; brimming with warmth and kindness, and suddenly, I’m 20 again.

I refuse to become a pawn in your game of manipulation; cowering in a corner as your ruthless mistruths mount before me.

Wait for a man who sees you in his future; whose heart will beat for you alone.

I promise to love you for eternity; to devote my heart to preserving your soul and lifting your spirit. 

I walk through the streets and my body feels like a New York winter and I’m limping like an injured deer and my legs are frozen and my nose is frozen and my entire being is frozen and everything is numb, numb, numb and I stumble around like a drunken sailor and you say you’ll love me through it.

It was you. It was, is, and always will be you.