This Is What Kind Of Guy He Is, Based On His Cologne
(Note: This is not an exhaustive list, nor is it a particularly serious one. And don’t worry, ladies. I’m going to roast us next.)
Thè Noir
He isn’t too fussed about bling and status, but enjoys the finer things in life. Expect to have long, intense conversations about backpacking and “looking expensive for less” fashion.
Terre d’Hermès
He heard from his dad that this perfume “attracts the females.” He subsequently discovered that this is true.
Invictus
He plays soccer, and likes winning. You’ll wonder if the ball is all that he likes hogging.
Eau Sauvage
His granddad wore it, his dad wore it, and now he wears it. He doesn’t know of other fragrances and doesn’t care to find them out because why ruin a good thing?
Sauvage
He’s Johnny Depp.
Lynx/Axe body spray
He’s a hipster. Or he’s 17. Either way, he’ll insist all your opinions are wrong and will try to sell you a little too hard on the Dresden Dolls.
Adventure by Davidoff
Someone gave him a bottle for his birthday and he’s still using it up.
Rose of No Man’s Land
Likes the finer things in life and doesn’t let things like “gendered marketing” get in the way of it.
Coco Mademoiselle
Likes to party. There is a 50% chance he wears a mini handbag as a necklace.
Allure
It was the first thing he smelled in the store that he liked.
Doesn’t wear cologne
He’s allergic, he’s a doctor, or he literally can’t be bothered.
Doesn’t wear cologne and takes pride in his B.O.
He’ll expect you to go down on him, but does not reciprocate.
“It’s the shower gels they have at my gym”
He spends so much time in the gym he doesn’t bother buying his own toiletries.
Le Male
He has limited editions of everything. Don’t touch any of his stuff without permission.
Fahrenheit
He’s so sexy he doesn’t care if he smells like diesel fumes.
Fracas by Roger Piguet
Most likely a Scorpio. If you end up in bed with this person, don’t expect to come out of there for at least a week.
Green Irish Tweed
JFK was his favorite president. He also doesn’t care enough to check whether a story is true or a marketing ploy.
Silver Factory
Andy Warhol is his favorite painter. Andy Warhol is, actually, the only painter he knows.
Generic incense
Chances are, he’s a white dude with dreadlocks. He’ll spend a date arguing how consumerism is wrong, and then discover at the end that he forgot his wallet at home.
Burberry Brit Rhythm
Every girl he’s ever dated broke his heart. You will learn all about it before your coffee order has even arrived. He will then tell you how he is still holding out for hope and that every new meeting is a new opportunity, and also, do you wanna come to Thanksgiving dinner with him and his family… six months from now… and let him introduce you as his fiancée? It’s not that he’s rushing to get tied down, you see.
It’s just that other people can be so presumptuous. 
