I Want A Grown Ass Man

The days of me giving chances to men who don’t deserve them are over. The days of me opening my heart to men and putting in more effort than they do are over. I finally realized that there’s a simple explanation for what I want… I just want a grown ass man.

I want a man who knows what he wants.

A man who has seen what’s out there with other women, so he knows exactly what it is he’s looking for. A man who, when he finally finds a great match, he will do whatever it takes to be with her. This is a man who doesn’t falter in the traits he’s looking for in someone else, a man who isn’t wishy-washy in his own confidence and personality. This is a man who is convicted in every aspect of his life. Whether it’s his faith, what he wants from his partner or career, or the goals he has for his life. A man who is grounded and sure.

I want a man who is confident and passionate.

A man who shares the same soul fire I have is passionate and knows the importance of effort in a relationship, from both sides. A man who can have me by his side and not get intimidated or insecure when there are men around in social settings. A man who is secure with my love for him and trusts me completely. At the same time, I want a man who is excited about everything he does in his life, whether it’s his hobbies, his work, his debating. I don’t want a man who is lackluster, a man who does things methodically just to get by. I need someone with spirit, and to know that while we can disagree, our disagreements will create fire and passion for us.

I want a man who is independent and proud of the life he’s created for himself.

A man who can thrive in any situation thrown at him, who can be social or comfortable in his solitude. Who wouldn’t be capable of being codependent, because he recognizes and is fully aware of how far he’s come in his own life. A man who doesn’t need a woman by his side, the same way I don’t need a man by mine. When two people like this meet and come together, they still maintain their independence but this is where that perfect blend of interdependence comes in. What’s best about a man like this, is that he doesn’t need validation from others either. Whether it’s colleagues or friends, he doesn’t need to alpha them to feel like a man. He is completely satisfied.

I want a man who can take responsibility.

A man who owns his mistakes and does what needs to be done to remedy them. Not a man who plays a victim, who makes excuses for his poor behavior and decisions, who tries to turn the tables and make things about him. I want a man who will step up, apologize, and fix it. I don’t want a man who runs at the first sign of conflict with us but instead will work through it together. Conflicts always arise, but do you let them break you? I want a man who chooses to grow together through whatever is thrown our way.

I want an honest man whose words aren’t cheap.

A man who, when he says he wants to be with me, he means it. A man who doesn’t feel the need to have other women around to feed his ego, or a man who only uses me to feed his fantasies. A man who calls when he says he’ll call follows through with his promises and is incapable of bullshitting me, and whose actions match his words. I want this because this is what I’ll give in return. I don’t want a boy who can’t deliver.

I want a man… a grown ass man.