A Note To My Past Self

A note to my past self, one year ago. 

Today marks one year.

One year since you moved out of that house and started letting go of the future you thought you wanted and life you thought you had.

There are so many things I wish I could tell you, one year later. But first and most importantly, I’m so fucking proud of you.

Little do you know at that moment, but deciding to put yourself first and move on, was a life-altering decision.

Starting now for you, everything will get better. I promise.

Get ready to travel, a lot. Get ready for a promotion. Get ready for reconnecting with your best friends and seeing them more frequently than just birthdays. Get ready for new hobbies and more time for the old ones. Get ready for a boyfriend who appreciates you and supports you and brings you coffee in bed every morning. It’s so worth it. And none of it would have happened if you would have stayed.

I won’t lie, it’s going to hurt. So bad. Sometimes worse than you ever thought possible. But feel the pain. Be totally present in it. Even the dark times when tears stream down your face at work and it feels impossible to get out of bed. Go to therapy. Call mom. Do whatever you need to do to get through.

Because by feeling it, you will become you again. You will learn so much and you will become so strong. You will remember what makes you happy and what your priorities are. You’ll remember what it feels like to put yourself first and be proud of who you are. Because you forgot. You lost yourself. And the you, exactly one year from now, is someone you’re going to be so proud to be.