Katie Mather

Did you ever hook up with Jenny?

Is his Murray Hill apartment co-signed by his parents?

Charlotte: Stole your boyfriend, doesn’t care.

Spencer: Went surfing once, puts the surfer guy emoji next to his name when he puts his name into your phone.

Take a double shot when you successfully have a nonverbal shit-talking conversation about someone right in front of them.

“We should totally get lunch or something!”: You. Are. A. Liar.

While you spent all of high school trying to be Tumblr famous, David Karp spent all of high school creating Tumblr.

You know how to tell them just enough, but not too much. You’re just innately very uncomfortable opening up to anyone, and you know these people have some kind of perpetual email chain going on with the subject line: Family Secrets/Embarrassing Stories.

“Both my mom and grandmother used to always warn me about going to sleep with my hair still wet. They were convinced that it would give me arthritis??? Not sure if there is actual science backing that, but I always wash my hair in the morning just in case.” — Jenny, 20

When you’ve reached peak discomfort and the doctor is effectively satisfied with how miserable and embarrassed you are, the OB begins to beg you to “please relax your legs”—a request that will be made repeatedly throughout the appointment.

The whole notion of “unconditional familial love” was squashed the second it was time to get food. It was like everyone decided to behave like a Yelp Elite food critic when the time came to pick what restaurant you were going to for dinner.

Hopper’s trailer apparently cost the art department $1 to buy.