Katie Mather

Congratulations!

I just wanted to start out by saying that it’s really great that you have so many feelings. Feelings are really important. And you, Brian, have a lot of them. Like, a lot.

We Made Eye Contact On The Subway And I Immediately Imagined Our Future Together (We Move To The Suburbs And Have Three Beautiful Kids)

Dan: “Oh, you write? That must be nice. Have you ever heard of Deutsche Bank though?”
Liz: “You write? Fantastic. What’s your last name? I’m going to read everything you’ve ever published right now in line for the bathroom.”

I like to be the big spoon sometimes because I secretly think about how vulnerable the other person is.

It’s a dangerous mindset to be made part of. And it’s everywhere.

Oh. Shit.

How lucky are you to have finally found a creature as whimsical as I?

Look, I get it. I’m sooooo bad at texting (what does that even mean, why is that a thing people say?) and so I understand why it’s taken you this long to answer me (I don’t understand, your phone is glued to your face).

I’m only able to consistently tolerate, like, 3-4 people. In total. None of them are family members. Two of them are dogs.

Deception is beyond being just a bad habit––it’s a psychological conundrum.

The friend zone is fine. I’m really comfortable here. I’m not overthinking everything and I definitely don’t resent you because I’m really into you and you don’t feel the same way. This is totally fine with me (it’s not, just date me).