Some Major Life Moments Defined By What TV Show I Was Watching At The Time

That ’70s Show

I binged-watched That ’70s Show BEFORE binge-watching and Netflix were even a THING. I am AHEAD OF MY TIME. I spent the entire summer before my freshman year of high school at home with nothing to do and somehow came across an episode of That ’70s Show on that channel that used to play Degrassi reruns. Teen Nick? Nick After Dark? Something like that. Anyway, I used to sit at my mom’s desk while she ran errands and watch every episode OFF OF YOUTUBE like a sociopath. I can’t watch it anymore, it makes me feel claustrophobic. But Jackie should’ve ended up with Hyde.

Hell’s Kitchen

I really don’t like watching competition cooking shows, and I sometimes wonder if it’s because after my parents told me that I’d be switching schools for the fourth time in six years and I threw a tantrum and cried (especially because they were sending me to a convent), the three of us sat in silence and watched an episode of Hell’s Kitchen. Normal.

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend

I was LATE TO THE PARTY on Crazy Ex-Girlfriend. One of my favorite people in LA (and the only person I trust with TV show recommendations) had played the “Heavy Boobs” song to me once (my senior year of college I got kinda fat and my boobs were out of control) and then this past June, while visiting him, he somehow convinced me to watch the first episode. Immediately after having several mini mental breakdowns in SFO a week later, I watched almost the entire first season on the flight back to New York. This show helped me come to terms with the fact that I actually am crazy (see: reason why I was in San Francisco in the first place).

Peep Show

Peep Show isn’t on Netflix anymore which is bullshit because it’s one of the funniest shows I’ve ever seen and it reminds me of my sophomore year of college when I was THRIVING and finally meeting people I would stay friends with for a billion more years. It also specifically reminds me of this turkey sandwich I used to eat in the dining halls all the time. Literally the following year UCLA stopped making that turkey sandwich, and even though I was in London at the time I found out, I still signed some online petition to bring it back.

Seinfeld

I think Seinfeld is the first non-animated TV show I ever consistently watched. I lived in London until I was 8 and my mom would watch MASH and Seinfeld reruns every night starting at 5pm and I would pretend to understand everything that was going on. My family still watches Seinfeld together and my mom still laughs as if she’s never seen the episode before in her life.

NCIS

Backstory: I took some career personality test as part of the practice ACT exam (???), and it told me that I should go into law enforcement—which is how I ended up here, over-sharing my feelings on the internet! JK, I totally took it seriously and decided the only way to know for sure whether I was destined for a career in law enforcement was to obviously watch NCIS (I was 16 and stupid). I can’t even look at advertisements for this show anymore because it just makes me think about standardized test scores and the stomach ulcer I had in 2011.

New Girl

New Girl reminds me of one of my best friends from high school who I haven’t properly spoken to in several years and who forgot my birthday this past July, but is also probably the only person in the entire world who I would tolerate such behavior from. I can’t listen to ‘Send Me On My Way’ without thinking about that landlord episode. I stopped watching it after Nick and Jess got together, I think. Anyway, the show mostly makes me think of being in my lofted bunk bed my freshman year of college and being depressed!

The Office

Oh boy, what a doozy. The first time I watched The Office was when I was in 8th grade. YouTube was very different back in 2008 and for some reason you could watch full episodes of TV shows on there for no money or copyright issues or whatever, so I had accidentally clicked on something that led me to the Fun Run episode (important) and it completely changed who I was as a person. I’m NOT exaggerating. I somehow figured out how to watch the previous three seasons while I was sick one day from school in 8th grade. The ‘Casino Night’ episode reminds me of being sick, specifically. I haven’t stopped talking about this fucking show in almost a full decade. I still haven’t seen the finale.

Freaks and Geeks

THIS SHOW REMINDS ME OF DEPRESSION AND I CAN’T WATCH IT ANYMORE BECAUSE EVERY SINGLE SCENE JUST REMINDS ME OF BEING DEPRESSED which is really a bummer because it’s probably one of the most well-written shows ever (that scene when Bill is laughing alone in his house while watching TV and eating is one of the most devastating and soul-crushing scenes of all time and haunts me to this day). If I ever have a meet cute with someone, I hope it’s because we both realize we’re two out of, like, 10 people on the planet who have seen that show.

How I Met Your Mother/Big Bang Theory

I’ve never actually watch a full episode of either show nor do I think either show is funny. When I went abroad in London these were the only two American shows that would play on cable in our tiny apartment. My roommates had the TV on at all times. It was the same, like, four episodes of each show. Fake laugh tracks were the soundtrack to that apartment. I’ve never been happier and never will be as happy as I was during that time, which is funny because those are two very terrible sitcoms.