A Series Of Love Stories

1. We Made Eye Contact On The Subway And I Immediately Imagined Our Future Together (We Move To The Suburbs And Have Three Beautiful Kids)

2. You Want Nothing To Do With Me And I’m So In Love With You Because Of It

3. You Think You Can Fix Me (And I Like To Pretend That You Could)

4. We Live In Different Cities, So It’s Easy To Like You When I Don’t Have To See You All The Time

5. I’m Angry That You’re Happy And Existing Without Me So I’m Going To Push My Way Back Into Your Life And Then Leave Again

6. You’re Angry That I’m Happy And Existing Without You So You Pushed Your Way Back Into My Life And Then Left Again

7. That Was A Mistake (Sorry)

8. I Can’t Tell If I’m Texting You Too Much

9. You’re Definitely Texting Me Too Much

10. I Was Bored And Sad And You Were Also Bored And Sad And We Thought It Would Work To Be Bored And Sad Together But It Didn’t

11. I Like That We Pretend We’d Be Together If Only You Weren’t Already Dating Her And If Only I Weren’t Me

12. I Went Through Your Facebook Today And Somewhere Between Your Photos From 2013 And 2012, Something Just Clicked

13. Give Me All Of Your Emotional Baggage, I’ll Pretend I Can Handle It Until I Eventually Begin To Resent You And Then End This Abruptly

14. Text Me Back (So I Can Ignore You Too)

15. Your Taste In Netflix Shows Is So Bad, But I Won’t Say Anything

16. Why Do I Get So Angry Over Her Venmoing You?

17. I’m Almost Always Doing Something Else While We’re Sexting

18. I Really Only Did This Because My Friends Explicitly Told Me Not To

19. We’re Going To Spend The Rest Of Our Lives Together In My Head

20. Let’s Pretend We’re Both The Types Of People Who Can Do Long Distance (When Actually We’re Just Happy We Can Easily Hide Things From One Another Now)

21. We Matched, And I Thought It Would Be A Funny Story