100+ Bad Puns to Make You Laugh
Browse this list of bad puns to enjoy a good laugh or find a new joke to tell. These puns are sure to get a chuckle out of anyone with a sense of humor!
Want to hear a few corny jokes to make your loved ones laugh? These bad puns are the perfect way to get a chuckle out of anyone you know. They’re so bad, they’re good, not to mention hilarious. Wondering what exactly a bad pun is? Technically speaking, a pun is when someone makes a joke out of a word that contains multiple meanings. Browse the list of bad puns below to enjoy a good laugh or find a new joke to tell.
One-Liner Bad Puns
- Shout out to anyone who doesn’t know the opposite of “in”!
- When past, present, and future walk into a bar, things tend to get real tense.
- To the person who invented the number zero, thanks for absolutely nothing.
- I passed a sign that read “falling rocks”. So, I gave it a try, and no it doesn’t.
- If you’re with a guy that can’t appreciate a good fruit joke, then it’s time to let that mango.
- An airline company lost a man’s luggage, so he decided to sue them. Too bad he lost his case.
- My aunt has the heart of a lion. She has a lifetime ban from the zoo too.
- Never trust stairs— they’re always up to something.
- I lost my mood ring the other day and I’m not sure how to feel about it.
- I tried to buy some camouflage pants at the store but sadly, I couldn’t find any.
- My friend accidentally crashed his car the other day. He told me he finally discovered how his Mercedes bends.
- Einstein discovered a good theory about space and it was about time too.
- While small babies can be delivered by a stork, heavier ones need a crane.
- Sleeping is so easy for me, I could do it with my eyes closed!
- Beer does not make you smarter, Budweiser.
- Never trust an atom because I heard they make up everything.
- Have you ever realized that long fairy tales have a tendency to dragon?
- I had a neck brace fitted many years ago and since then, I’ve never looked back.
- This wedding I went to last week was so emotional. Even the cake was in tiers.
- I dreamed I was a muffler last night and woke up exhausted.
- If you ever have a bladder infection, urine trouble.
- I heard fish live in saltwater because pepper makes them sneeze.
- Decided to sell my vacuum the other day because it was just collecting dust.
- I watched this show about beavers and I swear it was the best dam documentary I’ve ever seen.
- I met a ghost that absolutely loves elevators. He said it lifts his spirit.
- Cosmetic enhancements used to be so taboo, but now you can talk about Botox and no one even raises an eyebrow.
- One guy walks into a bar… the other one ducks.
- I used to hate facial hair but, over time, it grew on me.
- I recently had a dream about swimming in an ocean of orange soda. Turns out it was just a Fanta-sea.
- My friend entered into a pun contest. I thought one of his would win but no pun in ten did!
- I told my aunt I just built a car out of spaghetti and you should’ve seen her face when I drove straight pasta.
- Recently heard that Peter Pan is always flying because he never lands.
- My friend said he would do a magic trick on three, so he said “uno, dos…” then disappeared without a tres!
Hilarious Puns to Tell Friends
Question:
What did one atom say to the other?
Answer:
It seems I may have lost an electron, I should really keep a better ion them.
Question:
Can February March?
Answer:
No, but April May.
Question:
What did the French man say when someone asked him which video games he liked?
Answer:
Wii.
Question:
What does a drug dealer lace his shoes with?
Answer:
I’m not sure but I’ve been tripping all day.
Question:
When a wife claimed moose were falling from the sky, what did her husband say in response?
Answer:
It’s reindeer.
Question:
When the grape was crushed, what did it say?
Answer:
Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
Question:
Why can’t the bicycle stand on its own?
Answer:
It’s two tired.
Question:
Is there a reason why a nose can’t be twelve inches long?
Answer:
Yes, because then it would be a foot.
Question:
Is there a good way to get a squirrel to like you?
Answer:
Sure, just act nuts!
Question:
Did you hear what the news reported on the circus fire?
Answer:
Yeah, they said it was in tents (intense).
Question:
What’s the worst quality about a Russian doll?
Answer:
They’re completely full of themselves.
Question:
Why would a can crusher quit his job?
Answer:
It was soda pressing.
Question:
An octopus starts to laugh after how many tickles?
Answer:
Ten tickles.
Question:
What do you call a pencil with two erasers?
Answer:
Pointless.
Question:
Do you know the best way to view a fly-fishing tournament?
Answer:
Yeah, live stream.
Question:
Astronauts apparently love computers. Do you know what their favorite part is?
Answer:
The space bar.
Question:
What makes a cold such a bad robber?
Answer:
They’re too easy to catch.
Question:
What did the drummer name his twins?
Answer:
Anna one, Anna two.
Question:
What do you call a nosy pepper?
Answer:
A pepper that’s jalapeño business!
Question:
How do you get Pikachu on a bus?
Answer:
You poke him on.
Question:
How do you get a tissue to dance?
Answer:
Put a little boogie in it.
Question:
Why are gates put up around cemeteries?
Answer:
Because people are dying to get there!
Question:
Which kinds of shoes do ninjas run in?
Answer:
Sneakers.
Question:
What’s a bear called when it has no teeth?
Answer:
A gummy bear.
Question:
What did the fish exclaim when it swam into a wall?
Answer:
Dam!
Question:
Have you heard the rumor going around about butter?
Answer:
Nevermind, I shouldn’t spread it.
Question:
What does a baby computer call its father?
Answer:
Data (dada).
Question:
What lives at the bottom of the ocean and shivers often?
Answer:
A nervous wreck.
Question:
What’s the best way to catch a bra?
Answer:
With a booby trap.
Question:
What did the right eye say to the left eye?
Answer:
Between you and me, something smells.
Question:
Why did the crab decide not to donate to charity?
Answer:
He’s shellfish.
Question:
Why did the man get fired from the calendar factory?
Answer:
He took a couple of days off.
Question:
What did one plate say to the other?
Answer:
Dinner is on me.
Question:
Why did the scarecrow win an award for his work?
Answer:
They deemed him outstanding in his field.
Question:
What happens when you cross a snowman and a vampire?
Answer:
You get frostbite.
Question:
What did the clock decide to do when it was hungry?
Answer:
It went back for seconds.
Question:
Why does Spock have three ears?
Answer:
Because he has his left ear, right ear, and final front-ear (frontier).
Question:
What did the older chimney say to the younger chimney?
Answer:
You’re too little to be smoking.
Question:
Why did the tomato start blushing?
Answer:
It caught the salad dressing.
Question:
What did the Buddhist say when he got to the hot dog stand?
Answer:
“Please make me one with everything.”
Question:
What’s a martial arts expert’s favorite drink?
Answer:
Kara-tea.
Question:
Why did the person cross the playground?
Answer:
To get to the other slide.
Question:
What’s a mummy’s favorite kind of music to listen to?
Answer:
Wrap music.
Question:
Two fish are stuck in a tank. What did one say to the other?
Answer:
I don’t even know how to drive this thing!
Question:
What did the bartender say when a hamburger walked into the bar and ordered a beer?
Answer:
Sorry sir, we don’t serve food here.
Question:
What did the man say when he tried on new orthopedic shoes?
Answer:
“I stand corrected.”
Question:
When is a door not a door?
Answer:
When it’s ajar.
Question:
What’s the name for a monkey who loves chips?
Answer:
A chipmunk (chip-“monk”).
Question:
What’s a vegetarian zombie’s favorite snack?
Answer:
Grains!
Question:
Why can’t anyone hear when a Pterodactyl goes to the bathroom?
Answer:
Their pee is silent.
Question:
What’s the best way to find Will Smith in the snow?
Answer:
Just follow the fresh prints (Fresh Prince).
Question:
What instrument do dentists love to play?
Answer:
A tuba toothpaste.
Question:
What would happen if Americans switched from pounds to kilograms overnight?
Answer:
There would be mass confusion.
Question:
Why not trust a burrito?
Answer:
He always spills the beans.
Question:
What is a turtle’s favorite type of photography?
Answer:
Shell-fies (selfies).
Question:
What does a clown’s fart smell like?
Answer:
A bit funny.
Question:
What do you call a joke about paper?
Answer:
Tearable (terrible).
Question:
What’s a hippie’s wife called?
Answer:
Mississippi (misses hippie).
Question:
What did the duck say when she bought some new lipstick?
Answer:
Can you put it on my bill?
Question:
Where is a computer’s favorite place to dance?
Answer:
The disc-o!
Question:
Which country is known to have a rapid-growing population?
Answer:
Ireland because every day it’s Dublin.
Question:
Did you hear about the guy who stole a calendar?
Answer:
Yeah, he got 12 months.
Question:
If a bee needs a ride, where do they go?
Answer:
The buzz stop.
Question:
What’s the best way to heal an ill lemon?
Answer:
Lemon aid.
Question:
Why are actors told to break a leg?
Answer:
Well, every play has a cast.
Question:
What’s it called when birds stick together?
Answer:
Velcro (vel-crow).
Question:
What’s it call when a sister cries?
Answer:
A crisis (cry-sis).
Question:
Why did the stadium feel so cold?
Answer:
There were so many fans around.
Question:
Why do cobblers always make it into Heaven?
Answer:
They have perfect soles.
Question:
What did one sad math book say to the other?
Answer:
I’m filled with problems.
Question:
When the custodian jumped out of the closet, what did she exclaim?
Answer:
“Supplies!”
Question:
What’s the main difference between an alligator and a crocodile?
Answer:
One you can see later while the other you won’t see for a while.
Question:
What did the man say when he heard a company was making glass coffins?
Answer:
It’s clear this might not be the best idea.
Question:
What’s the main difference between a piano and a fish?
Answer:
You can tune a piano, but you can’t tuna fish.
More Humorous, Punny Jokes
Below are more clever puns to share with loved ones and make them smile.
- Puns for All Ages
- Plant Puns
- Golf Puns
- Ghost Puns
- Avocado Puns
- Taco Puns
- Dinosaur Puns
- Goat Puns
- Car Puns
- Marriage Puns
- Bible Puns
- Banana Puns
- Potato Puns
- Love Puns
- Space Puns
- Sad Puns
- Sheep Puns
- Nature Puns
- Tree Puns
- Cute Puns
- Clean Puns
- Dumb Puns
- Computer Puns
- Book Puns
- Pig Puns
- Birthday Puns
- Ice Puns
- Tea Puns
- Farm Puns
- Science Puns
- Summer Puns
- Elephant Puns
- Weather Puns
- Donut Puns
- Pasta Puns
- Harry Potter Puns
- Watermelon Puns
- Monkey Puns
- Porn Puns
- Ice Cream Puns
- Wine Puns
- Vegetable Puns
- Tuna Puns
- Squid Puns
- Owl Puns
- Animal Puns
- Beer Puns
- Frog Puns
- Shark Puns
- Food Puns
- Sex Puns
- Flower Puns
- Snow Puns
- Chicken Puns
- Bread Puns
- Pizza Puns
- Christmas Puns
- Bone Puns
- Water Puns
- Rock Puns
- Star Wars Puns
- Bird Puns
- Pokemon Puns
- Bear Puns
- Cheese Puns
- Dolphin Puns
- Fish Puns
- Cow Puns
- Egg Puns
- Dog Puns
- Friendship Puns
- Bunny Puns
- Bee Puns
- Coffee Puns
- Cat Puns
- Music Puns