This Is What I Want From You

I want to do everything and nothing with you at the same time. I want to wake up at 5 a.m. and feel your warm body curved against mine. I want to lace my fingers with yours so we are sleeping with our hands intertwined. I want to kiss you last thing at night and first thing in the morning. I want to fall asleep with you whispering silly little somethings in my ear.

I want to experiment with you. I want to lay on the couch on a Sunday afternoon wasting away hours watching mind-numbing shows like “Extreme Couponing” with you. I want us to decide to try to extreme coupon on our own, and we’ll plan everything out but when we get to the store, we fail. I want to spontaneously pack our bags and go on a road trip to an unknown destination. I want to sing along to my favorite songs terribly and explain to you why they are my favorites. I want to tell you about the memories behind each song and you’ll tell me about yours. I want to take your photo when you aren’t looking, because the candid moments illustrate the reasons I like you.

I want to experience happiness and sadness with you. I want to be the first person you call to tell me good news and also the bad news. I want to be driving with you in the passenger seat and I’ll get pulled over for speeding. I want you to be the one to coach my through what to do, and comfort me by ensuring me there are worst things I could do besides speeding. I want to experience joy with you; a joy so inconceivable we won’t believe it’s true. I want to celebrate with you, and only you.

I want to take you to my favorite place where I haven’t been in five years. I want to feel the breeze in my hair as we sit on the secluded rock overlooking the water. I want you to be the only person I’ve showed the place to. I want to take you to my favorite ice cream place from when I was 10, just for the mere experience of recreating a memory with you. I want to have a million memorable moments with you; most of the little moments will be lost.

I want you to break my heart. I want you to be my first great love and then tear it all away. I want you to be the one to teach me that love does exist. I want to spend time wondering where I went wrong, what I did. I want you to lead me to something new, something that maybe isn’t better but something that will teach me that it’s okay to begin to love again. And I want that new love to teach me that love exists in other forms; that every love is its own.