Kate Bailey

Do not actually do anything that makes it seem like you’re hitting on them.

You are just slightly less paranoid about getting pregnant or getting someone else pregnant because I mean, at least you have a job and a degree? Stable relationship? What?

Even your Netflix queue mocks you.

Really obvious subtweeting that makes everybody feel awkward.

“You’re too pretty to be gay!”

Racism. Particularly against white people.

Find really insignificant things that they completely believe are “signs” that they should be together.

Call someone up to see “how they feel” about you when you really already kind of know and doing so is not to give you peace of mind as much as it is to facilitate another chance for them to give you the answer you want to hear.

In the morning you’re freezing so you bundle up in your knit scarf and riding boots and by 2 p.m. you’re sweating and gasping for air in 80 degree weather.

It’s dismissive of their experience.

They, like you, just want to sleep all day.

And when you grow up like we do, whether you are even conscious of it or not, you walk around with a little part of you that is always in hiding. At first it’s subconsciously from yourself, and then it’s very consciously from other people.

The this is weird, I wasn’t expecting to get turned on by this, wow I’m so turned on by this… is this weird? Oh okay well here we go never mind one.

Respecting people is far more important than being seen as “strong.”

More makeup does not mean more beautiful. More makeup means you look like you put more makeup on.

It’s just Liam Hemsworth, Taylor Swift, Amanda Bynes, Lindsay Lohan, The Mannings, Macklemore, Justin Bieber and all their childhood “friends.”

Hate on lists that generalize/stereotype having one’s period.

When they play with kids or animals, hold babies, talk about their future kids or admit that they sometimes think of potential names for their spawn– these men exist I have encountered this rare species and I am here to tell you it is not folklore.