Someday, I Will Live Without You

Someday, I will wake up without immediately reaching out for you.

Someday, I will love that my sheets don’t smell like you.

Someday, I will rinse my face and not see your eyes when I close mine.

Someday, I will get dressed and not watch you hug my pillow.

Someday, I will brush my hair without imagining your fingers running through it.

Someday, I will wash my hands without thinking about how I embarrassed myself.

Someday, I will look at myself in the mirror and your strong arms won’t be around me.

Someday, I will put my makeup on without worrying about your lips ruining my lipstick.

Someday, I will follow the recipe and make my own chocolate pancakes.

Someday, I will start my car and not think about texting you.

Someday, I will pick up my coffee without hoping to run into you.

Someday, I will call my friends and it won’t be about your mixed signals.

Someday, I will spend my morning without replaying the night before in my head.

Someday, I will have lunch without picturing you in front of me, ravishing your food like you always do.

Someday, I will pick up the phone and won’t expect to see your name across the screen.

Someday, I will drive by my favorite places and not search for your car.

Someday, I will spend the afternoon without daydreaming about being in bed with you.

Someday, I will go to the gym after my day and not look for you out of the corner of my eye.

Someday, I will look at couples holding hands without wishing for your presence more than anything.

Someday, I will look at a man’s face and not see your brown eyes.

Someday, I will learn to face my sadness alone without your hand squeezing mine.

Someday, I will be able to hear your name and not freeze.

Someday, I will see you talk to another woman without breaking on the inside.

Someday, I will stand in front of you and not beg for your attention.

Someday, I will lay my eyes on you and not feel like the emptiest person on the planet.

Someday, I will be able to look at you without running away from your gaze.

Someday, I will go home without crying at the slightest change in your smile.

Someday, I won’t feel so disappointed that I couldn’t tell you everything I wanted to.

Someday, I will reminisce about our time together without being ashamed of how much I cared about you.

Someday, I will think about you and feel like I’m enough for you, for me. I want to feel like I’ve always been.

Someday, I will go to sleep knowing that I did everything I could to make you want me.

Someday, I will accept the fact that I shouldn’t have had to try so hard.

Someday, I will be able to make future plans and they won’t include you.

Someday, I won’t know your phone number by heart.

Someday, I will listen to the songs I love and sing along to the lyrics.

Someday, I will spend a morning without desperately wanting to hear your voice or see your face.

Someday, I will spend an afternoon without desperately wanting to hear your voice or see your face.

Someday, I will spend an entire day without desperately wanting to hear your voice or see your face.

That will be my first day, truly, without you.

I can’t wait for the day my happiness won’t revolve around yours.