I’m Not Good At Instagram

In this post-modern age, being terrible at any social media is akin to breaking a commandment. If you cannot find the perfect pose, the perfect angle, lighting, or statement, then you are a leper, a pariah, or worse, a boomer.

Is it bad I love my crazy hair?

What I want to know is this: When did your online image become more important than your real life?

It’s now second nature for everyone to constantly document what they are doing. Have we become bored with living in the moment? Has it become more enjoyable for individuals to revel in the nostalgia of the moment that just happened a few seconds ago?

Look how not excited I am to take my own picture.

Maybe it’s my own cynicism showing, but I’ve found it hard to find enjoyment in showing off my every meal, my every drink, my every anything. What I have learned is that I hate the way my face looks when I smile. Lighting can make or break my self confidence for the day. And more often than not, my choice in clothes is purely based on what is colorful, comfortable, or within close reach.

It got to the point that I decided having an Instagram account purely focused on me was a waste of energy. So I changed it to be focused on a creative art project that I am a part of, asking underground famous people 20 questions. Since I’ve started doing that, I’ve felt less narcissistic. I actually hashtag the posts and they tend to get more attention than it did when it was about me exclusively.

Another reason I might be behind the times with social media is because I currently own and use the iPhone 4S. It still works despite a cracked screen, so I’ve found it difficult to upgrade. It was also the last version of the iPhone designed with Steve Jobs at the helm of Apple, so I hold an oddly dear place for it in my heart. There is no denying that it might be time for me to upgrade now that we are at the Elon Musk Robocop stage. Camera quality, for one, is just so much better on the new versions of these phones, and that is pretty important if you like/need to take pictures.

Maybe I’ve become that curmudgeon that sits on their front porch smacking their gums and complaining about how we don’t really need all this modern technology.

 “It’s a waste of time,” I’d say. “And get off my lawn!”

Then again, maybe I just need to get a new phone and get off Instagram.