7 Fantasy Musical Collaborations That Would Make Me Wee My Pants If They Actually Happened

There’s something magical about musical collaborations—rather than just being plain old “excited” about your favourite artist releasing a new album or single, you get to be “double”, “triple” or “super” excited to see two or more of your favourite artists performing together (remember how you felt the first time you heard “All About You”?). With the release of Watch The Throne, as much as I’m enjoying the album, the pairing is somewhat of a let down (come on guys, love you together but you need to organize some kind of open relationship because VARIETY IS THE SPICE OF LIFE. P.S., Thanks for including Bey), and I’ve been thinking about the collaborative efforts that I’ve loved in the past, big names attaching themselves to one another like Snoop Dogg & Justin Timberlake, Ja Rule & Ashanti, Kate Bush & Peter Gabriel, Bryan Adams & Mel C, Sting & Craig David, Destiny’s Child & Lil Wayne, Britney & Madonna, Kanye West & everyone, Santana & Rob Thomas, to name a few. I’ve started compiling a list of some of my collaborative music wet dreams, in case any big music execs happen to be reading Thought Catalog and see the merit in my suggestions (note: I am available for creative consulting, call me). So here are the top 7 fantasy musical collaborations that would make me do a little wee in my pants.

1. Jay-Z & Bruce Springsteen

From my perspective, Jay & Bruce (the other B) are emblems of American music—the stars and the stripes, if you will. Absolutely nothing on this earth would make me happier than Born In The Mother Fucking USA, bringing Jersey and Brooklyn together in the most epic, inspiring musical pairing in the history of the world ever. I’m getting a boner just thinking about it.

2. Beyonce & Janelle Monae featuring Karen O

Imagine the coolest, funkiest, most colorful, fashionable, inimitable, dance fueled girl power anthem ever. This is it.

3. Frank Ocean & Theophilus London

In my opinion, FO and TL have the best albums of the year with Nostalgia, Ultra and Timez Are Weird These Days. It only makes sense that the two should collaborate on what I can only imagine to be some kind of super album, the release of which will have people arguing about whether they are men or Gods, and Jay & Yeezy would start feeling incredibly uneasy.

4. Lykke Li & Warpaint featuring Kimbra

More girl power—I’d love to see these young, angsty music things get together and come up with something. Individually, they’re mesmerizing, compelling; together I imagine their collective presence would be utterly intoxicating.

5. The Flaming Lips & Kanye West featuring George Lewis Jr.

Yeezy produces, raps; George guitars, croons; the Lips bring the melodies, the harmonies, and stage direction.

6. Dirty Projectors & Arcade Fire

Every time I hear “Sprawl II (Mountains Beyond Mountains)” I imagine Amber Coffman singing the lyrics and I wish my two favorite bands would get into bed together and make something powerful, real and pretty.

7. Ja Rule & Paul Simon (with apologies to Stephanie Georgopulos)

Jeffrey Atkins is going to need to make a come back when he gets out of prison, and Paul Simon is the exact message one should be sending following a stint in the slammer. Already knowing that Ja is a fan of Toto’s “Africa”, Paul Simon’s tribal beats should be a no brainer. It’s the next “Always On Time”. Failing this, our own Stephanie Georgopulos has expressed a keen interest in future collaborations with Paul Simon (to hell with Ja! Stephanie FTW!).