This Is How I Find Victory In Every Loss I Experience

I still dance in bliss even when life tries to play an elegy for me.

Whenever life tries to tear me asunder, I still forcefully pull myself together. Still get up every morning and believe that light will eventually shine through my cracks, notwithstanding the stabbing dejection that prevents me from rising. I still relish my coffee, even when I’ve failed to make my perfect blend. Even when I don’t like the taste at all. Because I know that the caffeine in it, regardless the bad taste, is enough to galvanize my listless soul and help me brave the day.

I choose to look at the least optimistic side.

I still bring myself to work because I decide to consider it a place for new opportunities. A place for me to thrive and step forward from regress. Even when my eyes were tired from crying all night, I still open them wide to stare at the window where the skyline peeks through and spells out hope. I see towers of different heights. Different facades. Different designs. But they all meet the same cerulean sky.

I still write romantic, colorful poetry even when life tries to paint the darkest hues on me.

Whenever life inundates me with anxiety and feeling of worthlessness, I turn to my passion because it reminds me of the purpose God created me for. Even when I’ve lost the verve, I use the pain itself to keep me inspired. To incite my sleeping flair. And basically to fight. Because of all the things I could lose, it’s my passion I will fight hard for. I will never give up on it. It’s my passion that makes me… me. And I never want to lose myself.

I choose to love myself despite seeming unlovable.

I still try to convince the person in the mirror that she is intrinsically strong, and can become even stronger if she accepts her flaws, shortcomings, weaknesses. It all starts with acceptance because from acceptance, comes improvement. I tell her not to settle for anything less. Not to settle for what is and for what was. I tell her to gradually blossom from losses, from the heartaches, from the criticisms of this world. I tell her she has no choice but to grapple with these demons. In faith. In self-love. In wisdom she accumulated from all the bygone battles she’s dealt with. I tell her she can do it.

I still pray, even when life shuts the lips of my heart.

Whenever life shakes my faith, I pray. Whenever life speaks discouragement, I pray. Whenever life slaps me, I slap it back with a loud, faithful prayer. Because after all the losses, big or small, I still see myself standing. I still see myself wanting to finish every new race. And that will never be possible without the help of the One above.

That is how I find victory in every loss I experience.

I just know that a loss is not the end. A loss does not determine my worth. A loss can never steal my life. But, a loss is an opportunity for me to stand, to fight, and to win with a stronger, braver heart.