Karen Noble

We were always at each other’s throats, able to magically tear each other apart and push each other’s buttons epically.

Has she seen the forward where George Bush looks like a monkey? Better late than never.

You can’t stop thinking about their lips. What kind of lip balm were they using? That’s all you’re thinking about. Totally.

You go out together to a party or bar, ostensibly to wingman for each other, but just end up going home together.

What if Jessica Chastain had just had some help from two ambiguously gay guys? She probably would have found Bin Laden a lot sooner.

Your best friend has probably been around longer than your boyfriend. They are reliable, loyal and entrenched in your life.

The whole world opens up when you know another language.

See if you can listen to every Beatles song in a row. Do not skip Octopus’ Garden. DO NOT SKIP OCTOPUS’ GARDEN.

You look forward to nights you can go out with friends without them.

If you were in a relationship? It’d only slow you down.

You believe they are really talented and they also think you’re something special.

You find yourself lingering on stuff that smells like them — their T-shirts, their sheets. When you catch a whiff of them, you feel happy and safe.

It’s why she blasts music and TV so loudly — her ears work differently from a real humans.

I wish I could make you just step back from yourself or have an out of body experience or something so you could see yourself the way everyone else sees you. You are beautiful.

You wanted things from me and you knew how I felt about you and you used those feelings and you used me. So I want you to know how I feel now, since you knew how I felt then.

I dated sporadically and unsuccessfully in college, fluctuating between a lot of tears and frustration and not being able to understand why I was so unlovable and gleefully listening to other people b-tch about their relationships while I wore full-on acne masks to bed in a comforter covered in Cheez-it dust.

And sure, sisterhood. Chicks before dicks. Girl power! But being pro-woman or kind to other women or whatever doesn’t mean rolling over for someone who is clearly doing the wrong thing.

We wake up in the morning face-to-face. Well, I wake up. You’re asleep. Your eyes are closed. For a minute I just look at you.