Karen Noble

Convince yourself it’s allergies. That’s all.

Take Rivers Cuomo. He took a vow of celibacy and then he swears his music and his voice improved. So maybe I have secret talents and superpowers that will burst forth once I’ve not had sex for the appropriate duration.

You always click on those headline-grabby articles on Yahoo! or People about “Taylor Swift’s Latest Break Up” or “You’ll Never Guess What Selena Said!”

I don’t ever dress the way I envision myself dressing. I see all these cute outfits on fashion blogs but then I just pull on a sweatshirt and jeans.

When I have headphones on and I fart thinking no one else can hear it like an idiot.

I love you more than Bruce Willis, Nicolas Cage and Liam Neeson combined.

We have to try to touch with our hearts and minds since our bodies can not.

Know how to dress and how to mix a drink. Two very easy things to learn, and everyone who wants to be impressive to their desired gender can do it.

If you say, “But my girlfriend does just always wear lacy thongs,” you are wrong. She just hasn’t opened herself up to you completely yet.

How about just being nice to all people and shutting up so I don’t have to school you every single day?

The culture will tempt you and you’ll definitely want to try and fit in better at the next class. (Up to you how important that is!)

Try to immediately become friends. Hang out and get coffee and laugh and act normal. Feel weird about not kissing goodbye.