Why The ‘Slut Category’ Might Have Ruined Your Next Date

I recently went out on a really great first date.

Yes, you read that correctly. The odds of a first date going great is rare, but a “really great” one is essentially an urban legend in today’s dating world.

High points of the date included, doors being opened for me, sharing a bottle of my favorite red wine, great conversation that didn’t skip a beat, and ended with an awesome kiss and a, “let’s do this again soon” outside my place.

Sounds pretty bad ass for a first date, right? Well it was!

You might notice one big part of the “high points” is missing. That part being; I did not invite my really great first date up for another drink, or “dessert”. I decided in the moment I wanted to have another great date with this great guy, and I didn’t want to risk that not happening by sleeping with him too soon.

The next morning I woke up excited to hear from this guy, and curious and anxious about date number 2. When would he ask me out again? Where would we go? And as all of us girls do, my mind wandered down a million questions of what would happen next.

After over a week of flirty banter over text message, this guy had still not asked me out on another date. He seemed genuinely interested by his messages, but without a second date invite I couldn’t help but wonder if he even liked me at all.

In an effort to figure this one out, I continued on texting him as we normally had. And then out of the blue, he did what I firmly believe might be one of the most offensive things a guy can do to a girl. He put me in the slut category without any f*cking reason to!

What is the “Slut Category”? In a nutshell it is a sexual advance from a guy to a girl FAR too early in the dating process which leaves her feeling like the guy only views her as easy or slutty.

So, in my case, I was thrown into the slut category after I sent one harmless text asking how his day was, and in response I received, “Good, could really use a BJ about now though”.

Poof. Just like that, any good feelings I had about my “really great” date disappeared. As I read and I re-read the message several times I felt more and more offended with each re-read.

When you are dating someone, or even hooking up with someone on the reg, texts like this are inappropriately appropriate. They are fun, and give a relationship a bit of fire. However if you haven’t even hooked up with someone, you absolutely can NOT send messages like this!

In my confusion, I sought the advice of my girlfriends. While I thought I might be the only one to have experienced way too quick of a sexual advance via text, I was wrong. Turns out most of my girlfriends had at some point received out of the blue sex messages, or even worse, photos unprovoked by a guy they were merely “talking” to.

I get it, guys will ALWAYS be guys and will have their minds in the gutters, and that is not my issue here, it’s much deeper.

If you are a guy in the stages of talking to a girl, and you throw sex into the conversation too soon, you risk making the girl feel like a complete slut. It makes her feel like you aren’t at all interested in further getting to know her, or taking her out again, you just want your dick sucked.

And that is exactly how I felt in this instance. I somehow went from being a good dating option to being some slutly chick he felt like he could get sex from whenever he wanted, at his convenience. Since we had never hooked up, I gave him no rational reason to think I was a slut based on his and my interactions. He had no legitimate basis to think I’d be DTF at his beck and call, and the fact he thought I would be offended me to the point of no return.

I will never entertain a guy as an option that even just one time made me feel like a slut.

If you respect a girl, and are genuinely interested in dating her, do NOT force the issue of sex too soon. You will most definitely lose out on the girl, and not to mention lose out on anything sexual.

It’s not hard. Any guy has it in the bag with a girl if a date goes as well as “really great”, he just has to not f*ck it up by being an idiot between dates number 1 and 2.