Guys, I’m Super Worried About Jenna Jameson

I’m super worried about Jenna Jameson, guys.

She hasn’t been on Instagram for like a week, which is crazy because Jenna Instagrams more than me. I need a steady stream of Jenna selfies to know that she’s OK.

Ever since she did that loopy, disjointed interview with some rinkydink New York talk show while promoting her erotic novel “Sugar,” my concern for Jenna’s well-being has been at an all-time high. Friends texted me about it. “Your girl is not looking so good,” they said. Um, NO, she’s not. Jenna blamed it on jet lag, but there’s something more serious going on with her. I just need to know she’s gonna be fine, all right?

I’ve never seen a Jenna Jameson film, besides that one time I went to ClubJenna.com and doodled around, but I love Jenna the way I love Marilyn Monroe, Jean Harlow, Anna Nicole – tragic blondes all, but the kind with a backstory that belies their superficial initial impression. Both Marilyn and Jean Harlow were fantastic actresses frustrated by Hollywood’s refusal to let them play anything but dumb blondes. Anna Nicole struggled with all sorts of things: her weight, pills, the death of her son, a battle for millions she believed were rightly hers. I think Jenna has a place with these storied, legendary women.

I’ve read Jenna’s memoir, How to Make Love Like a Porn Star, many, many times. It goes well with a bubble bath and a cheap beer. In it, Jenna details her ragtag childhood with a father who couldn’t put down real roots. Her mother died when she was barely two years old and she yearned for a maternal presence in her life. She was gang-raped in high school, had a few bad relationships and a few failed marriages, but still managed to build an empire with sheer grit, determination and charisma. Watching an interview with a young Jenna is watching magic; some people just have “it” and she had it in spades.

Only a few porn stars have managed to become household names, but Jenna is clearly the most famous of those. I see you, Ron Jeremy, but you didn’t build a behemoth business (which she later sold to Playboy) the way Jenna did. Even if she had some help along the way, the fact is that Jenna made her millions and her fame on her own. Think what you will about the porn industry and Jenna’s role in it; I don’t much care if you think it’s wrong or right. I still admire her for having the balls and smarts to get what she wanted, rise to the top in her competitive, risky field and retire young, having made more than enough money to stay financially stable for years. She also took other young female porn stars under her wing and set them up for success.

When she settled down with UFC fighter Tito Ortiz and had the babies she so desperately wanted, twin boys named Jesse and Journey, I was super happy for my girl. Since Jenna grew up without a mom, she’d always wanted to make the world magical and perfect for her own children. It seemed she’d accomplished that goal, but in the last year things have gone seriously downhill. She dyed her hair all sorts of candy colors in frenetic succession, voted for Romney, had an altercation with her assistant, got a DUI, shaved her head, split up with Ortiz and finally, sadly, lost primary custody of her children. Jenna and Tito have since thrown accusations of drug use, steroid use and abuse back and forth at each other on Twitter.

Her face, once so strikingly pretty, has changed a great deal since her heyday; the lips are noticeably fuller, the cheeks plumped. I’ve watched this all play out via Twitter and Instagram, which is how we follow our favorite celebrities in modern culture. So many people comment on her Instagram selfies asking what she’s done to her face, and others jump to defend her. I’m on the fence.

Jenna made her name in an industry that places serious importance on its female stars’ looks. She’s getting older, so I totally understand why visiting the plastic surgeon sounds tempting. Aging naturally in our technologically and cosmetically-advanced society is rare, especially when you’re rich. If you have enough money and time to doodle around with your looks, go for it. I know firsthand how changing your appearance can help you feel in control of a world that is quickly spinning around you. When your world revolves around being sexy and beautiful, it’s almost impossible to get over the pressure to stay that way.

I’m worried about you, Jenna. I think you’re awesome and I don’t want to see you meet a tragic fate like the blondes before you. You have thousands of fans and two adorable little boys, so pull yourself together. You’ve done it many times before; I know you can do it now. C’mon, girl.