Kara Nesvig

When you go out with your brunette BFF, you get a lot of attention. It’s the whole “Blair and Serena” thing.

When you’re born a writer, you can’t really escape it. It’s part of you forever, and you have to set your fingers to a keyboard or scribble down stories to feel complete.

You always have a ride home for the holidays, and you can make him drive so you can text and play the songs you want.

Buy yourself flowers. Make an event of it and visit the fanciest florist you can find near you, then splurge on the extra-large bouquet.

When men are hungry, they prefer larger breasts. Biology is weird, man.

When you clean all the damage away and take your time to make sure every corner is polished and spotless, there’s no evidence that it was ever even there in the first place.

Is Spencer Pratt the Chosen One?

The first day it hits 40 degrees after a long, cold winter and you drive around with the windows down.

Blair understands the complete devastation of a broken heart; luckily she has her other great love, Serena, to lean on.

When the police entered Dahmer’s house of horrors, they found three human heads chilling in the freezer next to Hot Pockets and ice cream.

There is no more silence left here, not in this room. I fill it up. Cheeping voices from @handles. Facebook posts lambasting presidents and showing off stepping stones, I bought a house! I had a kid! I ate this pizza!

I don’t have anxiety, but I burn, and I burn hot and fast until I crumple down like my nails.

These disturbed teens freaked me the F out and made me terrified to have children one day. Evil is evil, and it doesn’t matter if you’re 85 or 15 – if it’s in you, it’s in you.

‘Poor people lose. Poor people lose all the time.’ That quote should always be shocking – as in it should jolt you, shock you to your human core – until it’s no longer true.

I’ve always read that your teens are an important time in your life, that during the teenage years you really learn who you are and start to grow into the person you’re supposed to be.

You can’t see the entire bod of St. Anthony, but you can visit his chin and tongue when it goes on tour!

“Bronzer. No foundation. I went through an entire compact of bronzer in a month.”

Make a snowman in your yard. Who cares if your neighbors stare? They’re just jealous.