Juliet Lanka

What’s the difference between a joke and two dicks? You can’t take a joke.

Stop overthinking what you are about to say.

“Girls that instantly drop the guy’s dick as soon as the first droplet of semen comes out instead of waiting until the orgasm is over.”

“You consistently set low expectations and fail to achieve them.”

“No foreplay, he just yanked my legs apart and shoved it in dry.”

Why does a complete stranger’s ex-girlfriend turn some men on?

He tells me I’m beautiful when I wake up, when I’m sick, when I look god awful he is always there staring at me with a loving smile, like I’m the most beautiful thing he has seen even though I look like a zombie from lack of sleep.

What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball? She gagged.

Grab your breasts.

“I did it because it made me feel powerful. Like I had control over these strangers who didn’t even know my name. I got off on that feeling.”

It doesn’t matter if you come from a different background than them or have different beliefs, because as long as you have a kind heart, they won’t care about the rest.

In the middle of speaking, you might forget how to finish your sentence. You might lose your train of thought and completely forget what you were even talking about in the first place.

They prove that, when it comes to making quality content, kids can be even more creative than adults.

Find a job that will bring peace and joy.

“Until Dawn was pretty fucking well done. At times it was like they were trying to hard, but over all one of the best horror anything I’ve played/watched/read.”

“At one point, Christopher Columbus fed a live child sex slave to dogs.”

“Tried to kill someone and had an out of body experience during it. I’m not exactly faithful but I think something stopped me.”

“I listened to her screaming as she burned alive while the witness wailed and tried to pull her from the window. She did not survive.”