Here’s How To Fix Modern Dating: We All Need To Suck It Up And Actually Be Vulnerable

I get it. You’re scared. Well, so am I.

But isn’t that the point? Isn’t that the magic of it all?

We, as a generation, are petrified. I just don’t understand why that should stop us. Every single day, we shrink ourselves. We shrink our feelings, our thoughts, our passion, our entire being. And for what? To avoid coming off as “too much”? To be “like everyone else”?

It’s no secret: we are the generation of nonchalance.

And so what I’m about to say might just throw you off your chair or send you running for the hills. But imagine, just imagine: what would happen if one day, we all just threw off our masks? If we decided to say, “Yes, this is me and I’m going to embrace every second.”

Maybe we’d stop saying “sorry” for getting excited about the things we love or stop hitting “delete” on that risky text our hearts are pleading for us to send. Maybe we’d learn to just be.

We all groan about how we’re “the hookup generation.” Yet we’re horrified of getting lost in a real conversation.

I mean, think about it. When was the last time you went beyond the “What’s up?” or the “Where you from? and “What do you do?” routine. Yeah, it gets old. If the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results…well, what are we?

You see, we’re searching for sparks but sprinting every time we eye the fire. So again, let me suggest something radical: what if we just dive right in?

Recently, I read a few books by the queen of vulnerability herself, Brené Brown. I’m not here to rewrite her words to you, we can all agree she’s much better at sharing those. However, I will say this: there is proven magic in putting yourself out there. Brené and I are on the same page with this one: you have to be all in.

And yes, that means getting hurt; that means getting ridiculed and laughed at. People will call you “crazy” or “out there.” But maybe the ones pointing fingers are the most fearful of us all. Perhaps the idea of being “too much” was concocted by the ones afraid they’re not enough.

And perhaps our most attractive selves are hiding behind those masks our egos are clinging to ever so desperately.

Is fire terrifying? No doubt. Who said the fire inside each of us would be any exception?

It’s time for us to start living.