We Were Always Meant To Say Goodbye

When I think about the story of us, I think about the beautiful beginning followed by the abrupt end. I think about how the universe always knew we were going to meet unexpectedly.  I think about how you were always meant to shift my whole world around. I am positive that you were always going to take my breath away like you did the moment I saw you. That moment will forever be frozen in my mind. 

When it was all said and done, I believe we were supposed to be a lesson to one another. We were brought together to show each other exactly what we were capable of. You were supposed to learn that you can in fact move on from your past relationship. I think you needed to know your ex didn’t control you anymore. I on the other hand needed to learn that I was capable of giving my heart to a man and trusting him to cherish it. Maybe in a sense it was time for me to learn that love is not always perfect.

I do believe that I was always going to fall head over heels in love with you. Not the version of you that you showed the world, but the real you. The version of you that had insecurities you pretended not to have. I you were always going to make me feel things I had never felt before. You were always going to know just what to say to make me fall deeper and deeper in love with you.

I had found my kryptonite and it was you. My friends would joke that I had it coming. I spent so many years telling people love just wasn’t for me. However, I believe the universe had to remind me that I am in fact not immune to the power of love. Because when I was with you, things connected and made sense that never did before.

Once the beginning stages of bliss wore off, I started to see all the potential ways it was going to end badly for me. You were always going to play with my heart. Not intentionally, but because you didn’t know what you really wanted and your indecisiveness was going to shatter me.

You were meant to push me to my limit, time and time again. You were my test; the test to see if I was capable of loving myself enough to walk away from the situation that constantly left me devastated.

When I think about it, I still to this day wish I had walked away before I gave you the power to destroy me. I don’t think you ever deserved the tears I cried for you or the effort I showed. If you asked my friends, they would say that you weren’t worthy but I think it came down to the fact that you were terrified of our potential.  You knew if you let me in, we could potentially be each other’s forever.

When it ended, I found myself buried in the rubble that was one us. I took an almost impossible situation and survived. I climbed out from the depths of hell and I’m finding myself to be brighter than ever.

You see, I have learned so much through the heartbreak and what was once us. I found my worth and realized what I was willing to stand for. I found the beauty in myself that I always struggled with. I found that I deserve the world and that someone one day will be willing to give me the world. However, the hardest lesson I learned from you was that we were never meant to make it. We were always meant to say goodbye.