Josh Gondelman

Late last week, TMZ broke the story that Philip Seymour Hoffman had checked into (and out of) a ten-day rehab program to treat a recent resurgence of a long-dormant drug addiction.

Within moments, I received a notification that she had taken a screen cap of the image. I did not know that was even possible within Snapchats parameters.

That’s right. I also drive a Ford Aerostar with no windows. It’s practical.

The worst part is, we were working with five-pound weights. It is so dorky to be done in by a five-pound weight, an object with the same mass as a premature baby. WHO HAS EVER BEEN THWARTED BY A PREMATURE BABY?

Over the first three days, slowly eliminate foods that are not pizza or at the very least pizza-related from your diet.

It’s that time again! When an act of domestic terror forces us into our homes while a manhunt carries on around us. It seems like this part of the year drags on and on and then when it’s over…bathing suit season. Ack! Am I right?

Last night, the Boston Bruins played their first home game since the tragic explosions during Monday’s Boston Marathon.

If I do twenty more pushups before bed, that’s forty pushups total for the day. Nice.

CONDOLEEZZA RICE

US Secretary of State/Subject of Numerous Conspiracy Theories
1954-2036
Most Popular Tweet: “Rice, cooked.”

For every male babysitter, there are a hundred teenage girls trying to take his spot. Don’t sleep.

While no law shall prohibit the free and unfettered practice thereof, maybe don’t go around shoving your religion up everyone’s butt all the time.

Wearing a clingy, form-fitting pair of slacks gives the impression that a man is DTBP (Down To Be Photographed). If Jon Hamm didn’t want this type of attention, he shouldn’t have put so much focus on his body by dressing like that.