Josh Gondelman

Suspended from the ceiling of the Museum of Natural History is a large ceramic Mobius strip, evoking the infinite potential of science. The sculpture is draped in fettuccini. From a speaker, the voice of a carnival barker exhorts passersby to step up and view the Never Ending Pasta Bowl, only $11.99 at the Olive Garden. Boom.

As we’re all aware, the great Bob Odenkirk will star in Breaking Bad spinoff Better Call Saul.

2. Purchase an ancient Egyptian coffin from a morally flexible museum and fasten it to your fire escape for use as a sensory deprivation chamber.

The classroom has become a glorious Mexican standoff of learning.

If you are writing a YouTube comment telling someone to die in a fire, and you would not actually set fire to the object of your scorn, then maybe rethink your word choice.

HaventSeenIt.com — Haven’t Seen It matches you with a partner on the most important dimension of compatibility: What tv shows haven’t you seen?

Soon it will contain offices or dorms or classrooms. It will serve the community. This building is making me look bad.

I’d be awful at log cabin building or bare-knuckle boxing or bathtub gin distilling.

Railing on about those things now is like standing on the beach complaining that high tide “tries to do too much” and low tide “defers to the shore at big moments.”

Answer all questions as if you were Ryan Gosling’s character from ‘Drive.’ (With silent, mournful changes of expression.)

If you wanted to tell Frank Sinatra you thought he was a piece of garbage, you had to find him in person or write him a letter. Then someone who was not Frank Sinatra would read your letter and come to your home to beat you up. That’s how things worked.

Interestingly, a lot of what Yeezy (ahem, excuse meezy) Yeezus said sounded fairly revolutionary…when early feminists were saying it a hundred or so years ago. So let’s play a quick game of Who Said It: Kanye West Or A First Wave Feminist?